Just some thoughts...Ya know, how can anyone say that they truly understand what you are going through? How many times when you are down and someone comes up to you and say "hey, i know what you are going through..." and suddenly you feel a little lighter? Is it magical? or are we deluding ourselves?
I chased a cat yesterday, was lunching with my grandma and the corner of my eye caught the sight of the cat darting in. It was smart... it ran straight under the sofa, hoping for us not to notice it. Out of anger, I ran to the newspaper stack, rolled it up and smacked the sofa real hard (this is not my first encounter with the animal) and it ran out in fear. But thats not enough for me.
I ran after it. In my flip flops, i ran like i never ran before. The cat was no match for me. Although it had about 5-6 metres headstart i was closing the gap. we dashed down the corridor and up the stairs. It was so close.
Then BANG, i unknowingly knocked down a parked bicycle in the spur of the moment. As my conscience took over, i slowed down and watch the pesky figure get away. Then with a sigh, i went to clean up the mess. The owner of the house came out, asking me what happened. i told her about the cat. She said "why chase the cat to this extend?"
People in church ask me, hey can you help me with this? I say yes ( as usual ) cause i see it a pleasure to serve. But then my family and friends ask me, hey you free? I will give them the usual "church". It does seem that i have no life, but the church is my life. I can honestly say that i have done more significant things in church than at home.
Someone one day asked me, "still busy", I replied shabbily, "yeah...". "Go slow". Hey man, do i carry the profile "I'm Busy" with me everywhere i go? Yeah I have a grandma with attention seeking problems, i have a few groups of close friends, I have my girl, But do i complain all the time?
Yeah i know i am complaining, mavis told me a joke from the noose this morning.
" the average singaporean complains about an average of 4 times a day when he/she is unhappy, and when happy? about 3 times. " LOL
haha guess what, I am an average singaporean. Kinda proud of that. Maybe i am like a girl in YF, who just had an IPOD gift, would be worried if there is nothing to worry about. Ah the sky's gonna drop... oh wait, I have not done this, done th...
Evil. Someone emailed me to not procrastinate about my worship ppt slides, and CC the email to almost everyone in the ministry. Saying he is graceful. Peh. You cant hide your lying eyes... You think i always anyhow do worship one is it? I am almost running out of songs that the old folks would appreciate and worship with... You cant truely understand. I watched a family today, so happy, though maybe they are struggling abit financially, but they got each other.
I want my own life, if i can i wanna restart everything. Too many bad decisions. too many mistakes. But i cant regret. I can only plough through whats to come.
My honest opinion, lets be sincere to one another. If we hate that person, go to the person and tell them what you dun like about him/her. And lets deal with it. Or not, learn to forgive and forget, something that i am trained to do in my family. If we harbor any hatred for each other, the person who loses is yourself. The party who overcomes himself takes the advantage, you lose out.
When you are angry and sad, we do stupid things. Sometimes things that we might regret our whole lives. But the truth is that, its not the end. Let us not be victims of a vicious cycle that might turn into a maelstrom or whirlpool for others. Lets all be more mature and think about others. Be sensitive, and always give a helping hand. Lets give without asking for anything unreasonable in return.
One problem that i see in alot of people today is that they know they have a problem, and yet they dont wanna deal with it. Once i had a friend, who smokes everywhere he goes, and when i persuade him to quit, he will say, "yeah, i know its bad man, i wanna quit, let me quit once i finish this pack" he's still smoking til today.
Why i wonder? is this the reality of the bondage of sin? Are people so blinded by their pleasure? sure i have my own problems, and i am struggling. But yet the more i struggle, it becomes stronger and harder to quit. It has grown to an addiction.
but i will not give up. And because i have fallen so low, so that i can understand how most people feel about their problems. I know i stand a place to help those who need more than just a sincere smile.
I feel that i have to say this, "
LOVE YOUR UNLOVEDLove one another. before its too late. peace out.
