Hey guys, welcome back, thanks fer reading this, if there is anyone reading this. haha...

hey let me ask you one question, do you feel just... weird? I dunno about you, but nowadays, i feel like i have doing things, going about with life, just doing enough to get by... feeling tired, feeling tired of society, do you ever feel... alone? I just cant figure it out, do you ever feel like you just want to talk to somebody, you know, pour out your sorrows and such, but when the time comes? you just dun feel like? Do you know how a puppet feels like? sometimes i feel manipulated, by many things... I dunno... what do you think?

Maybe i have not talked to anyone recently. exams, then attachment, just thinking of it makes me feel tired... worship. its like a drug to me, i need it. Its one of the only form of my expressions to God. its might be the only one. Redundant, meaningless. depressing yes i know, just cant help it. I feel like a cloth, over wringed , so tightly hardly any substance left to sustain.

Bumming, thats what i feel like now. God, Is there no one else, that i may feast my ears upon, to seek inspiration to visit you? I hardly have no reason... except to say grace sometimes... i have outcasted myself from my classmates and the campus crusades... i just dun really wanna hang out with them... no reason too... i somehow dun connect... hard to be a nice guy ya know... constantly wearing a mask... smiling away goofily so you wont ruin another person's day...

Church, thats where i feel compelled to go, yet hope to meet God, to experience him again.... Where has my optimism gone to? here lies a rag doll, decomposing with the remote control... I just had 2 packets of instant noodles. I cant remember when was the last time i deliberately had to cook that waxed long wheat to feed myself. I cant remember when was the last situp i did.

Feel like writing a story... A story where we can all relate to the protaganist.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Its another day, that same old day, where you head about you daily chore, up about making ends needs. You look up to the sky , and daze at how the invisible forces tug those cotton candies go. sun's setting, the skies dim in a mushy purple backdrop, ideal for a date.
However here am I, flipping through a thick book worthy to be a chopping board. scouring through remnents of what seems to be endless thick pages, where information, Overflows.
As the more oustanding clouds disappear from sight, A quick reminisce of folly rubs salt in my battered wounds. Tsk, Looks like i have to face the demons with my pen again. One question,already my biological attention span gave the halfway mark. Lack of discipline drives the sluggish brain.
The classical guitar glistens with mischief in the corner, with a sigh, I dump my papers and proceeded towards the instrument. Should i play for ten minutes or so? If so what songs shall i play? Routine check tuning and simple plucks to warm up.
What seems like only a songs, stole 20 minutes away. Drats. There goes another chance to use time wisely...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

right... gotta go back to reality now. talk to you guys soon.