hi guys, thanks fer reading once again.

Been pretty busy lately, and all not about school work (lol) so today just gonna type in some experiences i have lately.

I believe that God has blessed us with the ability to do anything. Recently due to my schedule, i have body aches everyday and often left in fatigue. But I always wanted to try to test whether the brain is capable of activities that would alter bodily motions and systems. For example in the morning after i wake up and walk to school, i told my brain : "Begin wake up program, refresh body rate at 10% interval" Then i would concentrate on waking up my body ( take note i walk and do so ), the sensation is more like you are forcing your brain to wake up, it WILL send shivers down your spine. as in literally, so tat you know you are advancing. Keep doing so till you think you reach 100%. usually I have problems once i hit around 60-70%. but its possible to refresh your state of mind to more than 100%

Still not convinced? Here's a starter i invented to "feel" the sensation. I will do so in steps so that if you do not feel, go back to the previous step and start over.

1- close your eyes and take a deep breath
2- meditate, literally empty your thoughts and focus on the darkness
3- now envision your brain and imagine the excess fluids or strain in your head drain away down your spine
4- (this is the crucial point to me) concentrate on the brain section on the lower back part of your head, envision the brain juices spreading (you should feel it)


at first i thought i was delusional, but i tested the above test on someone, of course i was more detailed, and this self hypnotism is really helpful to get rid of stress, problem is i often have too much stress and have very little time sitting down...

Today was the first time i went wake boarding, and boy was it tough. i went under the school, and there was this girl who kept pestering all those who signed up to showed up... of course i had to go.

$40 for 30 min. 15 min then wait again for the next session of 15 min. I was late and watched how my friends fell again again and again. at first i was thinking this must look very tough... I began asking around for advice from the regulars, i do not want to waste my $40... The guys were somehow impressed by me, either by my enthusiasm, my curiosity or my sporty looking body ( my friends thought i attracted this junior who acted a bit funny towards guys... like me...) I earnestly learn the theory and finally my turn came.

But my attempt was no better than the other guys. None of us actually managed to stand up. My very first attempt left my left hand middle finger internal bleeding cos there was this awesome thug when the speed boat pulled the board. i think about 5 minutes of crash and waiting for the line passed then i finally told myself, Ivan dun be a impatient idiot. take your time and progress each step. Then i looked up to the sky and thanked God for letting me have this chance, and asked him to let me go a little further before falling. And I did. I managed to bend my knees up and the board almost stabilized. of course i came crashing again. But i had more faith, and asked God for more distance and he was faithful.

But when i almost got the hang of things, my first 15 minutes was over. next was justin yeo. back at the floating platform where we wait, we began asking around like how many sessions it took for the regulars to get the hang of things. They then began comparing locations and said that our location, kallang river , is a pretty bad place to start. most of them had a few sessions before stabilizing. i began to be nervous. I knew wake boarding is not easy, but i never thought it could be that tough... Then i saw justin yeo almost standing up, but crashed as usual. then the girl, Maggie, began asking who wants to go next. I asked her to show us what to do since she so enthu to teach, then she went. when she entered the water, the boat sped off, and in 2 seconds the board stabilized and off she went, almost like a pro. Back at the platforms, echoes of "ownage" filled the air.

Then justin yeo began telling me, actually its not that tough, although theory is important, you just need the feeling... I was like... what if i dun have the feeling? It was justin goh's turn. he managed to stabilize , probably inspired by Maggie, but he could only last like 5 seconds. I was like, justin goh was the only potential looking one since the first 15 minutes he managed to stabilized a bit, then in his second session he could stabilize more. I was demoralized since i did not stabilized at all the first 15 minutes.

then my turn came, I was determined but nervous. But my friends began telling me not to worry and try my best. Encouraged i went into the water, only to disappoint myself, i messed up and went smacked down into the water. Looking up and waiting for the boat to pick me up, i asked God, "God, just let me do this." 2nd try. I managed to stand up! I got the sensation but it was short lived. I too came crashing same like the others. But i was determined. I asked God again, and i went slightly further, this time i got the hang of things. The driver kept saying that i am good, now i would prove how good i really am. The next try i took my time, the feeling was right, I managed to synchronize the waves and the board, i kept my balance. And then I realised, I am wake boarding. I could not see the others cos i do not have my specs, but i know that the rest were staring in awe. I went the whole length of the kallang river and managed to make a turn, but the turn proved abit too challenging, I starting drifting away from the line of the boat. and the waves toppled me.

well todays a fun experience, i and the guys would probably wake board every fortnight cos its quite ex. And oh yeah, whole body aching cos of it. the meditation helps though. Ok if anybody wants to know more, just let me know yeah? see ya

Well enough is enough man... this past week i encountered about 5 different deaths ( 4 persons and a dog ). And with the extremely tiring week, and a suffering "friendship", Its pretty stressful.

First was aunty. Uncle Chee mengs mum. Her passing was very unexpected cos we saw her the previous sunday... I am rather shock and sad to see her leave us...

Next was the unexpected death of a aeronautical student, whose bike fell skid and killed him instantly. I found out when i realised that i am the only person in a class and when i ask the lecturer where are the rest, he told me they all attended his funeral and postponed it

next was when i followed Jemie home when her dog was giving birth to a puppy. it was premature but showed signs of health and hope... I was actually fascinated by its coming into the world... but it died of something the next day...

then was Don's elder sis. She's so young and pretty, but her passing was sad. i am still sad, and amongst the deaths, hers disturbs me. My heart is with his family now.

Then this morning was rather shocking ( but not as bad cos i have seen so many people pass on recently ) was the passing of my great grand mother. she lived to a ripe old age of 102 years old. and now she have gone home to the Lord.

I am not sure about you guys, but i see life very fragile and uncontrollable. its like anytime God can just call you home. Its disturbing. but we have the assurance of salvation that makes a difference.

Because of Don's sis wake, I got into emotional trouble with her. With the added pressures of the late and tiring previous days and the worship session i have to prepare, there was unnecessary tension.

But it still does not change the fact that she always takes things for granted and irritatingly only panic when its like too late. How am i suppose to handle my feelings around someone like that, I ask you.

Glad that my groups project is progressing and that we are moving somewhere. but now the auditor pressuring us to go for the highlighted projects group where we will exhibit the project. pretty scared now. and not scared of the exhibit, but for my grades cos i did not put in as much effort as some of the guys. time to buck up.

had a great jamming session with Farhan before all the madness from yesterday. Was shredding session 101, pure soloing madness, very fulfilling, and i think i may have found my new jamming mate.

then today's worship was kinda good. it was dedicated to Don's sis. I feel that the team done a fairly good job today. there was dynamics and discussion of appropriate music level and understanding. And bernice had her wisdom tooth plucked out, but her chubby cheeks look made it look normal. we felt that she looks like Qoo. lol

Next week is gonna be another exhausting one... everyday got things on...

k guys talk to you again k? thanks girls for visiting my site.

PS: gonna cut my hair soon, I am open to cool suggestions :)

hi guys, sorry for not updating so much. gotta rush this entry a bit.... just when i am prepared to write an entry, my mum for got something and i have to go somewhere inconvenient... oh well a son gotta do what a son gotta do :)

Anyway, This past week, it felt like God was emphasizing a message to me, and its like he is telling me to have faith. Started when my mum went to a healing service, and came back talking about how she can walk all better and that by faith her knee cap and ligament will grow. Sure i was pretty skeptical, but seeing her walking without the cane, and so full of faith, its as if her knee has already recovered.

Next was Saturday evening, when Josiah, Stanford, Don, Mavis and I had a conversation at the new LJS across the MRT station. I could see that we have mega plans and everything cos of Jo new found passion. I was pretty excited. I know that God is preparing us for another revival. But then yesterday in church after service when having small talk with Wen Xin, Matthew came in and said lots of stuff that encouraged wen xin's idea of the YF is dying. I must have faith, and persevere from all the negativeness that the youths themselves are having and help provide some kind of Hope. and i really believe that since this is God's ministry, This hope can only come from God himself. I will pray extra hard for the YF, and hopefully the rest will join me soon.

And there was the coincidental bumping into Uncle Kit on the way to the station, We had a conversation and he asked me What i think God is doing to the church. I was only excited to tell him what i think God is preparing the YF for something. Then somehow my made my self centred statement by telling me that there is something else in the church that will lead people to God. I said wen Xin? he said no, think again. The lift? Correct he said. I was thinking, "the LIFT?" then he began to tell me how he saw God working and brought about the lift and it almost began about a year ago. One fine day he was talking to the elderlies in church and they said " You know, we can walk very long distance and not feel tired. But when it is very very tiring to climb stairs." Then he saw how the Chinese ministry side elderlies struggling up the stairs. So he felt a deep conviction and decided to approach uncle David Soh, Property chairman at the time. Uncle David was captured by the conviction and began praying alot... cos its just too expensive for the church to settle. But one day as he almost gave up, he shared to one of his old friends and Voila, that friend donated a whole 10k . Uncle david was so excited that he straight away settled the finance for the lift. And then Uncle Kit turned to me, Ivan, the lift is going to serve not only the church elders but the elders of the neighborhood as well. wow.

finally was my conversation with someone last night. She told me that she only wanted to be friends and that we need more time. Yup we need more time, and I need more faith.

Pastor message is also about faith, That its not faith that we lack, but faithfulness.

Guys whoever is reading, I pray that we can have more faithfulness when it comes to the business of the Lord. Amen.