Perspective. Everything's about it. One matter,many views. You could be right or you could be dead wrong. You could be following your "conscience", you could be following God's. But its your power to define and discern that makes you have the right perspective about stuff...

Do i have the right perspective about matters revolving around me? not really. I can clearly say i plow through my life just like a oxen in the padi fields, with no intended directions but only straight.

What holds for us tomorrow? only God knows. So i just do my best each day and "prayerfully" breath the inevitable. The future. Its not near, but it does not seem pretty damn far as well...

Am i emotional? Am i a radical? Is my sense of logic illogical? Am i just stupid? or do i see everybody around me somehow living a lie? What do we live for? honestly? Have you really thought about this? Its easy to come up with answers, but do we live by the principles of our answers?

Its fear. An unknown fear that has crippled people to doing stupid things. Its a fear planted by the world, Its a fear that Satan allowed the world to inherit. Its the insecurity of the world. Thats what we all fear. Thats why we are hated.

The world hates christians. Because they do not understand us.

Its like fearing the unexplainable. Ghosts, aliens, monsters... you fear them cos you do not know them. "If you cant beat em, join them" is a very popular lingo these days, thats how frail humanity is. We break at reality. Thats why we "dream".

We brainwash ourselves, giving ourselves concluded purposes to our lives, and hopefully to live a life without regrets. Now let me ask you? is it any more different from drug traffickers, rapist, murderers? no. God has simply put it. No matter the magnitude of our undoing, sin is sin. All of us are condemned.

Thats where Christ kicks in, the foundation of our being. The only reason of living. Cos if we are all condemned to hell, committing suicide will shorten our journey there. We need christ. We need a foundation. We need christ in the foundation.

When i look at myself in the "mirror" (of my heart) I see a man with no hopes. Its really better if the world has one "me" gotten rid off. Then again, who am i to take away my own life? even killing yourself is a crime.

So that aside, why do you live? have you thought about it?

I see the church, And i am not judging, but i can say many of us might not make it to heaven. but then based on this philosophy we live wary lives meeting ends due while juggling to clear our guilts through our service or self justifications to our own principalities. Can you see how disgusting man has become already?

No, I am not saying that the earth is better off without men, but i am pretty sure that though God knew that this (this current times) is going to happen, THIS is not his plan. I am pretty sure of it.

Our world is linked directly with the kingdom of God. The world we refer to as the "supernatural world", but basing my theory on how our world works, I would think that the supernatural world regards the material world as "supernatural" itself. Cos it would be non existing unless God wanted it to happen. So God made it happen, and 10,000 plus years, here we stand.

Mankind reaches peaks in discovery, high ones and low ones. Amazingly, technology advances whenever its regarding indulgences and destruction. what about cure for cancer and stuff like that? Nah, no money. Reality crushes any heroes in this world.

But I'd like to believe that the kingdom of God is closer than we think it is. Its because we're "co-existing". Two worlds together. Thats what i feel. Our actions here can contribute to creation or destruction. And this cause-and-effect is not bounded by space and time. In fact, i believe that if i am right, mankind might not make it to the point of us making time machines or stuff like that... cos we're not permitted to. Anyway i dun think we're capable of producing a mechanism that can control the power of controlling space and time...

But wouldnt that be cool? time shifts and ripped fabrics of time and space. its all sci fi and human "creative" creations. Have you heard of the Chaos theory? Or is it called theory X? I cant remember, it was popular in the apocalyptic era.

Ah oh well. Conspiracies and Theories, whatever makes me happy. I guess i rambled my frustrations off. Meaning i can sleep a little better tonight. good night :)