Hi all, FYI I am going away to the far away land of PuLaU TeKoNg to serve my due. lol. The hair will be gone, and the muscles will be toned. But i will be ok. So dun worry, i will see most of you on christmas eve and the day itself.

Sadly, My beloved mum is away on a missions trip in Cambodia ( pray for her ) with the BB boys ( pray for them too ) and my God mum will be away in vietnam and they will not be able to see me off on that day. sigh, oh wells.

Honestly, I am nervous about this whole army thing, although i have alot advices and tips from my friends who are already in the army. And sadly i cant really go in with a peace of mind... here's why...

1. My Grandma

She insists on staying alone by herself and says that other people are a nuisance. She can hardly move due to her hips cos of her osteoporosis and she hardly have energy to do anything... I have a strong feeling that she will be too lazy to feed herself and she might fall sick easily... whom i am not sure who will take care of her if i am not around...

2. The dance

Ah my head is gonna explode with this one. Partly i am disappointed with myself for failing NAPHA is purely because of this. The dance is not completed and the first dance is this saturday!!! AHHHHHHHH. and worse. some of the dancers treat this like a joke and do not want to be serious. i cant take this ego nonsense from this crap head people. Yer know, i really wanna punch them big time. but i will leave it for army to toughen me up so i can knock them out real good :)

3. My relationship

My relationship is kinda in a mess. Going into army like this is pure suicide. But i have to be more optimistic about this, army will be a whole new phase of life for me :) so i can break from reality :)

4. others.

Some other reasons include ministry, like the EM band and the yf worship team. I feel strongly that i need to help out...

My cousin leon, he will be staying with my grandma... poor guy. But at least he will enjoy the new nintendo WII that we bought. lol

other reasons i am afraid of being forgotten. yer know, when you come back and like no one recognises you? Already I feel like everyone takes me for granted already... but to be forgotten? haha i tell you the truth. If I am forgotten in church, I plan to find a new one...

You know, My mum said that God gave her a message regarding me, that if i do not spend time with God, i will bear my own consequences. Actually i already feel like i am in this trap. I hate being busy everyday. I hate rushing around. BUT WHY THE HELL I TAKE SO MANY THINGS UP IN THE FIRST PLACE! and worse, no one really wanna help me. No one! there is no such thing as sincerity in this bloody world. Everyone is just bloody selfish. All they think about is themselves!

Sigh. K not all... i thank God that i have a few bros that i know they are 99% honest and sincere... sigh. I guess i am not that special after all. But i will still do my best in this dreadful world. I will still struggle with God.

Father, chain my hands to your word lest i fall, i fall on solid ground.

I am going to settle my army stuff later. And haha i give up checking who reads this blog sometimes, i just feel like no one ever reads it. so do leave a comment now and then, it will brighten up my day.

So brothers and sisters, please please please learn to place others before you. And learn to speak in love and gentleness. We can make a difference! I know we can! lets not be like the rest in behavior. Lets show them that even sheeps can be king of the animals, basing our strengths on humility and integrity.

Please pray for me, and if anyone who reads this? please talk to mavis too, she can be very lonely at times, and she needs people to talk to. but dun offend her too much k? lonely people are sensitive people :)

K the next entry is probably after a long time to come. so take care of yourselves. GOD BLESS.

GOOD BYE.