right guys, thought of blogging a little so that i can sleep better tonight... know you guys miss me, yeah. no fret. I try not to break your hearts again. (just made another empty promise... man)

~~~~~~BLogGo Time.e.e~~~~~

Right, currently been making the church like mi 2nd home like that, everyday got stuff, practicing both worship and dance. YEAH YOU GOT THAT RIGHT! I'm dancin man, Oh! Jiggin with the dancing king, uh, feel that beat, oooh yeah, feelin... nvm...

Want to see that Hazel succeed in this, partly cos this is the first time i see her put in much effort, and i am kinda hooked to feelin those beats. Eh, no prob, I still jam, if i have the time, I even in the midst of recording our first single " Life" A undercover christian song. It will talk on basic emotions about how christians feel and the last verse is based on the book of revelations. Cool eh.

I feel so encouraged to see so many people involved in this camp. The Lord truely provides, i have been astounded time after time again at his providence. Hallelujah man, The big G up there rocks! I love you!

Its so easy to get burnt out in these period, but somehow, when i just divert all my energy to this, its seems enjoyable. I really see full time ministry as fulfilling as can be. I wanna lead dynamic youths to serve the living God. Amen, lets go forth to serve man. Radical.

I made a mistake recently, i organised a event, last minute, asking the youths to attend service on another day instead. I heard that pastor agreed, so happened the day of confirmation, i went to church. Had a hour talk with pastor. Its seemed that he was ok with it, telling me that its some of the congregation's wrong concept of worship, for worship is not confined within sundays only, but everyday... Then later, Jasper, who just returned from vacation, called to ask me what am i doing...
Then just to please him, and parents who may object i allow the youths to lose sometime.

Then today, jasper told me this, that pastor strongly disagree with my decisions, and was against me. That what we were doing was wrong example to display and stuff like that... i asked when he knew this, said that his dad had a lunch with him TODAY. I talked to him like 2 days ago liao... wah, somehow i feel backstabbed, by the pastor this time.

But nevermind, i take the blame if i have to, be the scapegoat this time. I want the YF to bond, to foster a relationship never done before, and i see the chance this christmas. with the stronger influence youths slowly disappearing, the less vocal have a chance to speak, and can see the energy and willingness flowing out from there.

I am very touched by some of the following youths.
- Eunice: put in efforts and does things without complaining
- Christopher: initiative and creative
- Hazel: energy and dance
- Sino and Matthew: Highly reliable, although sino always busy...
- Don: Sensetive and supportive. He truely can connect and go deep within a person.
- Yuki: availability and willingness, although he behaves like a kid at times
- gordon, shawn and jimmy: enthusiasm and willingness to learn
- auntie seok hoon: for bearing my presense everyday and investing so much energy into the youth
- christine: Her high focus and foresight into group activity and spiritual walk, wish i can invest as much time as her though. she made me open my bible again, just read 5 bible books in a week, and still reading.
- many more

I really think the youths can start a revolution, a breakthrough of strongholds. One day the church must acknowledge us as a independent ministry, not a training ground for future church leaders only. Whats the point if you keep losing your members.

Guys who are reading the blog. Pray for the youths that we will have a breakthrough in our walk to make YF a happening place.

Amen, may the Lord bless you and keep you in his grace

~~~~~~~~Signing out~~~~~~~~~~~

Hi welcome back, its been quite a while and i am suppose to be slping now, but had such a great day today, so i thought better write down ( or type down ) today's experience while its still fresh ( from the oven ).

~~~~~BLOG time, LETS guuuuuuuoooooooooo!~~

Alright, todays' Melvin's Birthday, have not seen for about more than 3-5 years? Dunno, btw she's the son of my Aunt Avon's Co-partner's Director's Wife (who is a close friend of my aunt). He's 20 today, gonna talk a little about him today.

He's slow. He's in a private Secondary School, and still cannot pass his N levels. He dances para para, and plays many computer games. He is ultra delayed response and blur. But one thing. He's nice. And he has many friends. ( and he is loaded )

Went there, a straight away while munching away on food for guest ( Calamari, satay, otah, chicken wing, fries, siew mai, aunt jenny's fried beehoon (melvin's mum) and many packet drinks.) made aquaintence with a local ( although we highly doubt ) (we as in Kellie, Lester and Me), whose name is Gamini. He seriously looks like he came ( air-flown ) from India. but, anyway. He's 24 and just graduated from ITE, now looking for a job.

Saw some of his friends and seriously have no idea where most of them came from or how they are related to Melvin. A guy from St Patricks, former squash C division player (when i was still captain) seems to really care for him? Lester and I were chatting away at the front porch of the Semi-Bungalow, when he suddenly came in from the front gate, telling us about he defending Melvin from a local gang named, "Chaos". Lester and my response were like "Ookay..."

Played alot with the gigantic Carps, each weighing around 6-10 kg, in this 2m deep and 2x1m wide pond that Melvin's father built at the side of the house. They suck! literally as in vacuum power level sucking! they suck so hard that when i placed my hand about 10 cm away, they can suck my hands to their lips. Ticklish but funny, I played with the carps and the mealworms that they were suppose to eat.

Here's a video of me feeding the fishes... can be quite a hand therapy!



And here's a vid of uncle alans redtail catfish! MEOW!



They stay in a big and luxurious home (semi-b). Its worth about 1.5m and furnished for a king. the facade is decorated with nature, vines, and many sitting bars and park benches. the porch and the carpark has a swing and some natured themed benches. Each family member has their own room (about 6, including maid) in a 8 room house. Each of the bedroom is like a house of its own, each with the owner's personality and preference of furnishing in mind.

Really living like kings... and the friends he has, starts to worry cos some of them sincere and some, not sure there for the money? anyway, benefit of the doubt lah.

There was this girl there, Janice. pretty looking and the most outstanding of all the girls there (the other would be Kellie, cos she going clubbing later...). Leon, my youngest cousin, showed off to them that i dare to touch the fishes... I was happily going to munch on a oreo bar when he draggged me back to the pond to make me put my finger into the water to let the fish suck on it. Then had a very little conversation with her, then she asked me to join her to play the Xbox in Melvins private gaming room, before i could respond, she said "you dun look like you were interested, bye (runs off)" haha, what a weird experience. Maybe i too old for young energetic girls?

But quite weird, dun tell me i look boring or not interested in anything? argh does not matter but its bugging me...

then there was the dance "competition" it started when lester was doing a dance routine at the request of aunty Avon for aunty Jenny to see, then it was a mass cha cha session in which i partnered my aunt ( i think i just finished a Tiger ), then it was the showdown of the PARA PARA competitors!

First up we have Melvin, with the song, eurobeat, dance moves are the original para para moves.



Next up is Gamini, same song, i think, free style?

Hey welcome back. Again i was faced with another day of agonising glory watching my week go by without studying... SHOCK! what the... wat have i been doing the past week? Its E learning week and the most slack one ever come across and i still can never do my work.. I am hopeless i tell you, hopeless.... oh well. Might as well type the best entry with watever days i have left...


~~~~~~~~BLOG GOGOGOGOGOGO!~~~~~~~~~~~

Alright!, its been a while, since you last saw me... not really ? 2 hours may be eternity you know. Just had a great time jamming with my cousins just now. I mean, my ultimate agenda is just to learn more songs, so i really treid my best ya?


The First song, Here without you, I really wanted to play the song much, but always playing my own interpretation of the song, which is because i never really listened to the song, pity. But it took me ten minutes practice with the tabs and here's the outcome. ENJOY!



btw, my cousin Lester, man he's taller than me now, joker as he is, he's a real cool dancer. i will try and upload his school's vid next time. He can be quitee fluid.

Alright next song that they forced me to play ( which i took the burden gladly ) was Iris, now you may be quite familiar with the Goo Goo doll's version. Kellie chanced upon the Avril Lavigne's rendition but played with the goo goo dolls themselves, now here is Kellie and Ivan (simple strumming) 's version of the song!



Alright. so there you have it. The teos jamming like the neighbours never complained before. Aight, I have decided to do basic engineering in the future, get a day job then excel for stardom. When i reach 30, i think i will do that "Sacred music" and "Divinity" studies in a Bible college.

By then i can afford that fountain i really want to put in the church, and make the Youth Ministry a independent and blooming ministry. so I have 10 years to make it big somehow. no worries. Apparently, I should reach paul gilbert's guitar level in one years time with the effort i need to put in ( way much more than i am doing now )

Anyway, Justin says i cant sing, haha, who am i lying to i guess. I never was proud of my singing skills, my vocals were never good. I think my head kept swelling in the youth ministry when people kept telling me that i sounded nice, good singing, watever... haha... then i was demoralised. my morale for many things shattered. so exaggerated i guess. but guess what. Its my new motivation. after my 2 days phobia of attempting to squeek a note, i know i need vocal training. next year after my ITP , by then i pray i already have my next chairman for YF, I will join choir and find a vocal trainer.

Mean while I plan to start piano in dec/jan. then i can play some organ for VertiCross, they plaing some Coldplay songs. quite cool, but will sound better with some piano. Apparently Bobby, one of the guitarist, says he knows a pianist, who is quite ok... maybe grade 5 around there? asks whether can intro her, at first we said anything, then he started to talk further on about someone posted her pictures in SGgirls.com, i think you should know our answers lah.

HAHA really ar, got a good looking female vocals really will bring you places... anyway, just to let you know, We made it thru the next round of Band Edge, i mean you know why? stupid reason, cos we are the only band with a female vocals. ARGH! what kind of reason is that? next time i bring a dog to sing then they also let us in cos we have a dog as a vocals lah. sian man...

Got really touched by the two messages today, one by rev strauss and steven of Doulos. Strauss managed to drive to me a conviction of serving the youth ministry full time in the future. I really want to see QLC YF flourish, i want to accomplish what Kenny and the rest of the YF hope to see, Where both chinese and English congregation, united, worshipping as a independent worship ministry, in dynamic and proactiveness!

Steven drove across the God divine nature of his calling for others to serve, in one way or the other. I cannot help but tear abit as i let them lead worship, out of pure intent, of service to God.

Then played pool with Feng nan, lost to him 5-3, i played badly, but he managed to get quite a few good shots. HAHA i managed to master the back ball technique... but i still cannot drive the ball straight... argh!

then later went to the arcade with him, cos someone rigged Drummania to allow 4 stages, where a double song still counts as a stage, (meaning you can be stuck there for about 1/2 and hour drumming, good money) then pump a credit along with the already 2 credits pumped by the other players... then the long wait began. We watched 2 guys, professionally blasting dinosaurs in Jurassic Park 2 the shooter, until i think from start until almost 2nd last stage, went over to see noobish girls dancing in Dance Dance Revolution... ( btw i go up to 7 steps and 8 steps for some songs.... but i getting old liao...sobs) then finally went back to see the other drummers finish. Then my turn came. Played a warm up song, level 54 song, quite rapid rolls but simple song, got an A. Then i think got alot of people behind me. ( i feeling preetty good. but remembered that FN has to go back ASAP.) but something made me do something dumb. so many people, i went to chose a level 60 song. ( I mean its no kick lah, i can easily drum a level 70 song,) but i never play before, then i struggle to survive... then i guess i cannot really be bothered to play after seeing my life so bad already, with a shake of my head i allowed myself to lose the round. A 30 minute game turned into 10. but doesnt matter, i mean i waited for my turn so long, watched them play so much till i really dun feel like playing already i guess...

argh, man. I told FN not to talk to me about girls. about relationships. its getting upon my nerves. I know i should not take out my anger upon couples but i just cant help it. Something is biting into me, making "not like" the girls i know who are attached. argh. I want yet i despise what i truely want. its getting bitter. but does not matter, i have God to live on. My guitar and my passions. I guess i dun not need anything else. To me, what i truely want i cannot keep, i cannot treasure, I really am hopeless when it comes to my social life now. I want to stop wearing that mask that everybody wants to see. A smiling and understanding ivan. Sometimes its true, but sometimes its just plain tolerance. I am praying for me to change my ways. Believe me i do not want to be like this. but God help me, my passion is already eating me i guess.

But i guess i am embracing my destiny, i was born in a system of no real freedom in the things i do, why i thought of entering the seminary when i am 30 only is the fact that my family really do not want to see me there. I realise that i have many jealous relatives about my disciplined life, guitar learning, school work, social life, argh.

painful. i lead a spiteful life of tolerance of society and disgust myself with the sinful nature of many people. I am more disgusted at myself. If anything can reflect what is in my heart, you will see, dirtiness, grime that is so black that it can eat light, odours so pungent that will make every atom in your body never wanting to get near me. You will shun me the moment i reveal my heart to you. Its a painful and lonely heart. a heart that yearns. a heart that bleeds.

You know, joycelyn shared about her joys with couples fighting... somehow, i need to walk away from that stage. she's childish, her mindset, are just twisted in someways. then again, it could be a gender thing... man. I can just type on andd on and on... Girls, you be nice to them, they think you up to something, then you dun talk to them, they think we avoiding them. CAN YOU STOP THINKING FOR ONCE! argh, i wish God took them out of our heads so they can have more brains, or think in our shoes for once....

I have nothing against you girls, i really like you, but i guess i am stepping on loose soil when i think about you. I tend to fall to sin easily and my principles, smitten. What am I, somekind of homicidal maniac?

Music , the only thing, like a remedy to a dying soul. diminished by society of today. Lord can I depend on you for the strength i seek? Lord How i wish i can see you, touch you, kiss you, walk beside you, pray beside you, wash your feet. I really want to serve you, yet you ask me to serve your people, why Lord why Lord? You love your people too much, some of them obviously you do not need to bother, but instead you send us to do your will. Lord... deepen my convictions, please.... I really want to serve you, but the flesh is so so so so weak... Do you see beyond the wretchedness that lies beneath? Lord you take upon my sins, so i can be free... Lord, what have i done to deserve this? Lord, what have i done to deserve this life you have given me, I SENT YOU TO THE CROSS. Lord, i sent you to the cross, you took the nails that i should rightfully take. Lord... why?

Why Lord, now i am forever indebted to you... and i see your family your church, in dire need for you. Lord, i can never be a good example. i hurt more than i influence right. My mind is so corrupted that i cannot look into someone in the eyes. I am beyond hope Lord, i so desire that new body that you promised. but like paul, i guess i must deny thyself. then take upon my cross...

Oh Lord deepen my convictions... smite my stubborn heart so that to others i am never worth comparing. So that lord, my pride can be replaced by faith... my heart lord, consume it with that purifying fire that we all sing about. A heart that will stand the test of flames. then you will see, remnants of the former self, sliding away like oil from that divine heart that you will install in me...

Lord, hold my hands... please... i beg you....

ERhz, life's pretty mundane nows that its E-learning week for SP ( or Slack week or Self-proclaim holiday or watever you name it...) so here i am typing the latest entry, cos there aint any good games to play out there anymore... ( nuuuu.... ) But here's my last resort to entertain myself... and thats to entertain yuuuuuu!

~~~~~~~ BLog GOGOGOGOGO~~~~~~~~

Right! Time to get things right. Audition is this thursday, nervous cos its bigger than the other competition... and the fights between hard core rockers ( ROCK ON !..! ) and those poor EMO singers... ( argh, i dun like emo, makes me feel down everytime i hear one, nice tune but sad lyrics, one way to kill me...). Thanks to Doctor Sid, the bassist, He Zeng-ed the song to a more "VertiCross" style. makes me feel better to own a song rather than playing covers...

Haha, i cant wait till i play like...
-Micheal Angelo Batio
-Yngwie Malmstien
-Steve Vai
-Stevie Ray Vaughn
-Hyde of X japan
-Angus Yung
-Paul Gilbert
-Peter Chan Kum Soon
- many more...

Argh, the world of guitar! seh man, I really want to play like them... But first things first i want to settle something thats preventing me from doing so and i really want to settle it first.

1) Finding a new YF chairman : Wonder how come we still have not settle this yet? Cant pick any Tom Dick Harry to do this, or like Hazel told me "The Youth will collapse" in a sense i cannot agree more. A chairman's job is not very pressurising and demanding, but it requires you to make proper decisions. How to make? Lead a God fearing life, in constant prayer. Its God's ministry not mans. So still praying hard for the candidate to appear

2) My diploma : I already decided that aeronautical is not my field, i am just not interest enough to advance to that stage. However, not to let my mother down, I will study hard to at least get a masters in Mechanical engineering. Maybe over seas... but see what the Lord wills.

3) Guitar skills ( like a baby learning to walk ) : Its seems that i still have a long way to go with the guitar. Very inspired by Don who is so motivated to play guitar for worship. His talented i guess. I know i am not really. But I picked up a line in Naruto and thats " I am a genius of hard work ". Someone once told me that i am a fighter, i fight hard with watever little skills i have. I really wish to agree. How ever i really lack motivation.

Apparently, being single is really getting to me. Me being single child, most of the time alone by myself, wanting companionship. its draining to see couples happy together. I mean, really happy. they dun often get into fights... and they always do things together... I see that in Justin's relationship sometimes... although he is a little abusive of authority. The secret? Submission and understanding from the GF.

Haha... Submissive GFs... ironically, although guys always display higher authority and girls always want the guys in charge, you just cant seem to find a girl who is understanding enough to let the guy lead the way... Couples beware if your relationships are one sided.

Here's a check list based on my experience to break ups.:

1) You are always giving in : Its true that if you want a balanced relationships, sometimes you gotta learn how to say no. If you are tired, and she wants you to send her home, just explain the situation and head straight home.

2) You tend to lie to your GF: I tell you, girls got 6th sense. They can easily tell ( not all the times though ) whether you made a detour to a friends outing or a LAN outing when you said you are not free to meet her... Rather then avoiding some guilt trip or nagging from her (which you are not suppose to have), just throw the truth in front of her, and watch how she react.

3) You take constant advantage of the girl : If you engage in anything not good. like watever, abuse her or often scold her, prepare to lose her man.

4) You often do not have time : I should say that this is the no.1 killer of relationships. They take time to grow. Chasing Girls once, you know you will invest all the time in the world just to get her ( all you money as well... sobs...).Then when things settle down, you find out that there's more to be down, the world does not revolve around just the two of you, then you get involved in other things. then you do not have time for her. Slowly, she will fade away from your heart.

5) You tend to flirt easily : Not that i am a flirt, but when my self esteem was built up, i realised my wanting to look good. And when flaunting watever assets you have eg. good looks, good voice, big muscles... etc etc... It can be quite tempting to flirt, to show off to girls whos boss. There will always be girls who are prettier than your girlfriends out there, and sometimes you being friendly to them is really not helping...

6) Your eyes wander easily : Like I said you know that there girls prettier out there. I know why you tend to have this problem even though your relationship maybe settled and thats because you chased your current girlfriends with good look factors. Its may be so for some of you, so my only solution is to accept her and appreciate how she is.

7) You complain about your GF more than you praise her : Not saying that you say things with no base, just that you got nothing nice to say about her thats all. And why? maybe you should analyse why, sometimes a breakup may be the only solution for this.

8) You cannot let her go : I think sometimes you just dun see the right reason to break up. When the time comes for it, pray and then let go. Its not the end, and people wont say things about you. Rather people talk bad about me than i have a sour relationship.

So there you have it, some of my indicators to breakups. I mean, not that i often experience them, its just that i dun want to see others going through what i did.

And if you. Yes you, try to see that i am not trying to exploit you in anyway.

I really want to be single, now my substitute is the guitar. Till i find one who is willing to love me for who i am, i will not enter one.

There still are other stuff that the YF needs to do, and i will update further next time.

Your truely, whos mouth has unlimited ammunition, the rare christian IVan signing out.


~~~~SINGING (YEEEEEAHHH) OUT!~~~~~~~~~~~

WOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHOOOOOOO!!!! KAY KAY KAY! Time for .....


~~~~~~BLogogogogogogo~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

Time to keep the intros short... and the content more satisfying... (to my own standards) Kinda realise i have a urge to satisfy everybody needs, whether stupidly or out of the way... Must be a gift ( could be seen as a curse at times ) anyway...

Shocker! in School! In Singapore Polytechnic, In mY Class! FUU!

Its the new and improved Ivan! He Does not wake up late anymore, does his homework, pay attentions in class, and looks more ah beng than ever ( sobx... :( )

His latest systems updates will be :

- Money Management
- Time Management
- Realistic Goal Settings
- Reading God's Word consistently
- Keeping Mouth shut to prevent saying stupid stuff
- Trying to wear contacts ( for performance sake )
- and many more

SOOOOOOOOO! WHILE STOCKS LAST!!!! THE FINAL PIECE LEFT FYI!
So Girls! grab him while he is still HOT, no point waiting to get him when his cheaper, cos his value is growing exponentially! HAHAHAHA

But you came back to my dreams... I keep seeing you and i realised that i desire for you, but my sinfulness will be my motivation to respect you as a good friend, whom i care for. I dare not be with you for i still cannot conquer my body... forgive me.

Anyway, promised i will update on my guitar regimes ( want some competition by year 2008) :

Nov 2006 - Jan 2007 ------------ Scales mastery and application
Alternate picking
more and more songs!!!!!

So ya, you wanna compete! Come along and let me know, I will gladly give you the materials and learn with you... ( actually just want to jam whenever ... play alone quite boring at times.... haha )

So not to boast or anything... I remember i made 2 promises and i plan to keep them

- To Edwin : To remove that dying christmas tree from the church and replace it with a fountain in 9 years time.

- To Joshua : To play the guitar for Hillsongs and City Harvest Church.

Dun plan to disappoint them... Anyway, starting to make up my mind about not pursueing aeronautical, but general mechanics for future studies, then i will pursue music all the way with a masters in engineering (any one...) So planning to keep my day job then pursue stardom for the Lord!

Applied for electric guitar course, and hope to see Kum Soon soon... ( no pun intended :)) He seemed quite excited when i was talking to him about it... Argh, I also so excited... And not to mention i am going to pick up piano to furnish my music creativity and theory! FUUUU! master musician in the house...

ARGH SO EXCITING!!!!!! CANT wait to play till i bleed! sweat or vomit! i just want more time for myself to practice my guitar!!!!!!! ARGH! i never really have the luxury... I want a new GUITAR!!!!! daryl told me about gibson SG... AND NOW I AM OBSESSED! STUPID AMERICAN GUITAR GOT ME HYPNOTISED!!!!! ARGH!

anyway, since i am learning to save money now, i plan to get the prized guitar in 1 year time, plus that ps3 next... but if i win some band competition or something like that lah... GO VERTICROSS! play your best!

Seems like they want to go heavy jap rock, like Alicenine... so unedifying, yet so addictive to the ears...

Ok better stay true to my words! better sleep now! NIGHTO!

~~~~~~~~~OUTOUTOUTOUTOUTOUTOUTOUTOUTOUT(COUGH)OUTOUTOUT~~~~~~~~~~

ERHZ!!!!!!! SUP MY lovely PEEPS! wa ha ha ha. I miss typing for this blog of mine, gotta keep up the habit, or all my lovely would not get written down! FUUU! alright, lets get this "party" startin'!!!!!!!!!!


~~~~~~~~~~~~BlogGoGoGOGOG0G0~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Alright, as you all know, i want to be proficient in my guitar, so from now on i will be adding my guitar training regime! Some of you may wonder, "why is he such a idiot, let everybody know what is he doing..." Let me tell you, I want everybody to be good in guitar, Its good for everybody and for me, so i have a lot of rivals to compete with! Exciting man!

I am so happy when i see Don, Chris, FengNan... all becoming better at the guitar! I mean, its like seeing your children growing up... so proud to be their teacher... But Ah hah, this is where i will grow stronger as well, my theory will improve when i teach others, and because i dun wanna lose out i will learn more songs and train harder as well, not to mention i will learn more songs as they request me to teach them songs! So guys continue to Pump me with questions KAY! mwa hahahhahhaa.

Future Pro worship guitarist in the house... Actually Kum Soon is such a influence, my teacher i mean, I mean he is not cool or anything, He will let his guitar do the talking, instead of we yapping away about how good we are, Kum soon let his guitar speak for itself! I can just imagine him, ripping away with spanish licks and rolls...

Ya My dream is to help out in my church as a proficient guitarist to train future youth guitarist to play and lead worship, I also want to establish the church as a Song producing church, kinda like City Harvest Church. I mean we got so many talents lah, look at Norman and Jasper, and not to mention all the guys and gals who are picking up instruments, there shall be equality, nobody guitar better than the other, so no one can boast.

However, I want to gain credibility, thats why i joined VertiCross, I will go all the way for them! As guitarist, i learn many techniques through the many songs that we play, Yahoo! music paradise, not to mention, its getting more and more fun with the song list piling up!

Ahaha, you think i let this take over God? No, the further i go, the more i depend on his strength to sustain me, and his will for me for i know its perfect. I will expand his Kingdom through music! And i want everybody to join in the journey! LEts start a crusade, rocking away for the Lord!

VertiCross is entering another SP band competition, Band Edge, YES ITS ANOTHER COMPETITION!!!! audition is this friday, so gotta chiong. Anyway, you guys probably wondering about how the finals went.

~~~~~~FLASH BACK!~~~~~~~~~~


The Finals began, and Kurage(the band name then) was fidgeting as Harlequin was finishing their song "Sweetness". We began setting up behind the closed curtains, and could hear the crowd (which sounds pretty hard to please) echoing away. We set up based on the rehearsals we had earlier, praying for the equipment to go well... Then Mike (male emcee) called Rita for a short interview about our group and song choice, The reaction from the crowd when they heard a japanese name was nerve wrecking... Soon the curtains rolled... Song began...

Weird thing is that you cant see the crowd as the turn off the lights on them to focus on us, Worse is that i cannot really see my guitar as well, i began playing by fill and ear... The guys seems quite nervous, although they were cooly playing away... Cameras from the school photography club flashing away, was distracting, and makes you wanna act more cool cos you dun wanna look like a idiot out there, very pressurizing cos if you dun act cool and give something for the people to admire, the crowd will be disappointed, So i know all those entertainers why they have to act cool.

We tried out best but i guess our nervousness got the better of us, we did not played as well as we practiced... As we though we won fourth place, out of the four finalist... Means last. But i was not disappointed, I was excited, cos i know there is a long way to go! means theres alot more to experience!

Haha we won a miserable $50 ... prob to cover future jamming cost... I was happy that we even won something for the not so good effort given.

Anyway, story might be too long for you guys, Kudos for reading all the way.. And guys, as much as my appearance change, i am still the same.

The rare christian ivan Signing out

~~~~~FUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~~~~~

Welcome back my dedicated lovely readers (enough suck up yet?, nvm >.< ) Anyway, sorry band kurage if i have offended you in anyway yesterday in my blog, its just that its very pressurising to play something you not used to...

~~~~~~~BLoG GO go GO~~~~~~~``

Alright!, heard that Band-X is a gig, not a competition, so not much of a pressure there, playing the song Summer Days from the band Do As Infinity, such a pity that they disbanded already... just when i am appreciating their songs... But hey lots of other Jpop and rock band to listen to. So gonna rock every Jrock song that we like, already having like 2 others songs in queue after the whole thing, "Kimi to iu Hana" and "Rewrite" from Akanji, or Asian Kungfu Generation.! Cool!

Got my self a 3day per lesson plan to improve my guitar skills, and going to learn piano starting december! FUUUUU! music paradise!

So guys, Stay dedicated to the things that you like to do! You may never know, something worth chasing may just be out there, of course, as long as its not against God's will! haha, SEe you guys!

~~~~~~~~~~Signning OUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!~~~~~~~~

Gyah! Welcome back for another wacky day with the rare christian ivan! WOOHOO! OKay ay ay, lets get this party movin' ! Ready! set! ACTIIIIOOOONNNN!!!!

~~~~~~~~BLOG GO GO GO GO~~~~~~~~~

Today i bring to you the first hand experience of Hagane Kurage's audition for the band competition. Its in narrative, so bear with me k? here we GOOOOOOOO!!!! FUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




28 sept 2006, Its around 5.20 pm, I called the bassist, Siddik, who said that he and Justin, the drummer, and Bobby, the lead guitarist, was waiting in the nearest foodcourt which is FC 4, haha, and boy when we met, we could not say a single thing cause we were so nervous man... It did not help when Rita brought her friends along... As the lead singer, she should be more nervous than the rest but here she was, smiling brightly...

After a little touch up from Bobby, also our hair-stylist, We headed to the audition room. Got a little lost but eventually found it in the middle of a dark alley. Haha, a dark alley in Singapore Poly... Scary ar... Anyway, I went in and first person i noticed already there, was Daryl, sitting on the pianist seat. Daryl, lead guitarist and back up vocals of St Patricks birthed band, TealFault, which reached the finals of a local band competition called "School of Rock". He's one of the reasons why i picked up the electric guitar, and he being my classmate constantly influence me as well... Well, now we are rivals. This time he is not playing the guitar, he got the percussions for his band.

Hagane Kurage sat at the corner of the audition room, I picked a comfortable spot near the audition platform with the guys, and began observing my competition. Many of them i knew, Some from another band whom i am playing the bass, and my classmates whom daryl is in the band, and from the buddy classes... Before the actual thing began the competition seemed to be already heating up... However, I prayed a slight prayer under my breath "God, clam my nervous heart, give me strength, and grant me love so i would not treat these people with biasness and selfishness."

As soon as i opened my eyes, Siddik came back with the results of our performance queue, which is the second one... ARGH! at first i thought it would be better to go last, but haha anything lah orh? >.< We sat back down and began checking our equipment, and the first band began setting up. They looked quite amatuerish, but who am i to judge? We are worse... 5 minutes passed they began playing. They played some song from this band, named the vines... One of those punk hard rock... not bad, but then Siddik began telling me how lousy they are... I mean come on, i though they were good...

Finally its our turn... I began setting up the equipment, Siddik gave one suggestion that the bass will help to set the tempo, then the drummer give the cue, then i start the song as usual. Sounded good, so i said ok. setting up infront of everybody is nerve wrecking... All those eyes, observing how you set up, already having some first impression on how "pro" you are... man... I was already shaking and palm sweating... argh! After some minor complications, finally we are ready to rock and roll.

Siddik began the timing when i nodded my head to show that i was ready, however the drum cue was a shocker cos it came in so sudden. Yikes! First second of the the song and we showed how nervous we were... I could not look up... I began to play.... Palm mute strumming... it went quite well. Then Rita sang, it sounded a little off pitch... ARGH!! and the lead guitarist part was although slightly softer than mine, the clariness of his sound drowned my muffled overdrive rhythms... yikes i began to panicked a little, but soon it was ok... A minute passed... The intro and first verse went quite well, very rockish. Then suddenly in one of the drum fills, we heard empty rolls, argh! Bobby and I turned back and saw to our horror, Justin struggling with one collapse floor tom and crash cymbals! ARGH!!! How bad can it turn out!? wat the!!!!! but we continued. Its our responsibility to rock out the rest of the song with one of our comrades down. I began to increase strumming difficulty to make up for the lost sounds, and began string scratching whenever i see an opportunity to increase funkiness. Bobby began to play better as well, it seemed that we got our cool together and we rocked till we dropped... ....


An hour passed, the auditions came to the end, only Siddik and me remained to see the other bands, and boy were some of them good. We came to the conclusion that we would not make it to the finals, i was upset at first but then it came to me, whether we get in or not, we accomplished something. I was happy and told this to Sid. Both of us brightened went back day looking forward for the nest opportunity to shine as a J rock band...

News got to Sid that my friend, Daryl's band, got into the finals, I mean i was not suprised, the lead singer was good, clear and can pull of some nice pitch, I went to leak the news when i saw them in class and congratulated them. In my heart i was dampened to see their happy replies. But then i was not despaired, when they asked me whether we got in, i told them it does not matter, we will try our best the next year... i knew i have to improve myself...


Today, 2 october, Got news from Siddik, WE ARE IN THE FINALS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

I cannot believe my ears at first! ARGH!!!!! so overjoyed till it hurts! wahahahahaha! man...

So this is my experience! Thanks for reading, remember that i said i want to become a pastor? I really do hope that one day i can be one... I mean fuse what i am doing now and my dream? I WILL BECOME A ROCKING PASTOR !!!!!!!!!!! FUUUUUUUUU!


wahaha, okok, gonna rock my joy with DOTA! NIGHT!


~~~~~~~~~~~IVAN OUT TO TO TO TO!~~~~~~~~~~

Okay hey hey! Without furth-Ur ADuuu, I bring you! [... Mecha voiced...]

~~~~~~~ Blog-ge-ge-ge ent-t-t-trieeee ge-o-o-o!~~~~~~~~~~

Wassup my long lost brothers and sisters! Hope you find the right place cos this place can be HEAVEN or the burning lake of crap for you! ESP> in the documentary of the rare christian IVAN! DE ONE and DA only! Muah ha ha>... >.<

Must emphasize on the word "rare" today. Rare would bring me to a few points today.So sit-to back and embrace yourselves, the ride is just about to begin....

(zzzzt) (interference in da airways) DaBomb: ... zzzt... is this on? wh... ok... (knock knock) on air in 3... 2... 1... and ...

Welcome to the all new radio show, I-have-DaBomb! a show dedicated to people who are constantly logging in to themysteriousgift.com.

Kay, so today the one and only rare christian Ivan asked me to explain on the word, "rare"... hmmmm alright, kinda hard, but i will try my best.

When you say rare, I say... food. Yesterday, Ivan was at the Christianity explored outing at Labrador park, the team that he was with for treasure hunt won, as usual really... , haha, and ah huh, he lost terribly to a aunty though in fishing. I bring you directly to the scene then.

Scenario: Ivan , zhen wei, gordon and Ivan's mom slacking at the jetty.

DaBomb: So Ivan how is it going here for the past 2 hours?


DaBomb: Ok... i think i kinda know....

LAter... >>>>>>

Soloman: And the best fisher goes to aunty Min!!!!!!!!
everyone cheers...

DaBomb: wow! well done Min, but Ivan you tried your best too, dun be too hard on your self too k?


DaBomb: ok...

DaBomb: back to the show, obviously Ivan wished he did better, i mean its rare that he catches no fish. And there you have it, The first rare. But how is this related to food? Ah hah, here are some RARE insights in the food ivan loves

DaBomb: Ivan loves his chocolate fountain. This is when he indulges in every womans desire, to dip ones into a pool, full of C-H-O-Co-La_t3. extra sinful, Ivan was seen locked up in self control room for about 6 hours next day, poor happy man... haha





Dabomb: Ivan loves his Ice peach. its a artificial peach, peached in vanilla ice cream, guranteed to melt the coldest of hearts. of vice versa ( in this case happened to Ivan ... haha).




Dabomb: Ivan also loves his dogs. I mean come on... when you see these cuddly creatures dun you feel like hugging them, kissing them... biting them...


mmmmmmm hmmmmmmmm....
yum yum yum.... less fur means more skin...

fighting among them selves... save Ivan from the dirty work...





DaBomb: But Ivan definitely prefer his beef over his dogs. He likes it preferbly rare! yup or rather medium - rare, cos anymore, its biscuit to him. Ivan loves his beef as much as him called a beef cake, beefed up.... beef beef beef beef beef beef beef beef beef beef beef beef beef beef beef beef beef beef beef beef beef beef beef



DaBomb: k, for now, thats the part 1 of rare. stay tuned for more further updates on ~~~~~~~I-HAVE-DaBomb!~~~~~~ ( police "Drop the Bomb now!")

(zzzt) off the radio. So thats a little on rare for today, i hope to catch you soon! Good night!

~~~~~~Ivan OUT TO TO TO!!!!! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

WAZZZUP! alright today i bring you a short episode of the documentary of the rare christian ivan.

So i guess its.....................






~~~~~~~BLOGO GO GO GO!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




Schedule: month of Sep

7-9 : Campus Crusade Survivor Camp ( made plenty of friends there ... hee!)
11 : Jamming session one, can view the vid ( cover 2 ). our new singer singing!
14-16: Think Big 06, what makes me think i am going to heaven? hmmm. I shall talk about that another time... and not so "happy" memories... haha, not really, i did enjoy doing it, its jus you know... embarrassing?
18 : Jamming session 2, bobby said vid was too near amps. jammed at this place in clark quey...
19 : A good friend's birthday
20 : Argh... need to go school make time table.... (btw, i am repeating a module... i definitely feel motivated to study now!)
21 : jamming session 3, pray that i can get a good vid this time so i can show you guys! :)
22 : Leaders retreat final evaluation... (better be) and final lesson of Friday BS... (sobs... I want minor prophets study)
23 : CE outing, justins and hon wei's birthday and Eleana's BD party at sentosa... hmmm (wonder how am i going to do all 3?)
25 : Start of school term...

wow... did you see the word slack in my schedule? what happened to my daily work out of munching and playing com games all day-and-night-(till day) days? haiz. But i know i cannot be a slacker! I promised my QT partner that i will do qt every night and sms her my lesson! but she so faithful, making me look like a Peter... NO! I want to do QT every night! I want to conquer my body as well! ARGH!

My band, currently nameless, seems to be heading somewhere... we enjoy J-rock and hope to spread the joy of listening to j-rock and punk. As leader of the band, or not really leader, but founder, I really am tempted to bring the band to new heights.
We are all aspiring artist, trying out new styles and play methods all the time...

Ah, a fellow classmate told me, "we musicians must have pride in our skills" I totally agree. But i also know when to humble myself so that i can improve. Argh!... Kum Soon, suddenly i miss you already... You know, I have been playing the guitar like 3 years now, but i feel like i have been going now where... God please guide me, Sent me a person to take over as chairman, and i shall go over to worship and dwell in my interest of service.

About my chairmanship? hmmm, really feel responsible for the loss of members in the YF. I have one weakness, i cannot be stern in anything i do, i melt easily (esp. if i work with girls... I pray i do not always work with them...) Speaking of girls... hmmm, i will get to that in the next paragraph ( relax ar guys, machiam despos like that) I really pray that someone can take over me as chairman. I really want someone mature to take on responsibilities, to go through any form of trouble. Of course that person wont be alone. I will back him up until I leave the youth, that will be abt 5-7 years time? dunno. but one day i will out grow right?

Ok about girls. Nothing arousing here guys, if you are looking for things like tat, i recommend that you pray that you know your salvation well. haha. Recently i have been reading this book, " I kissed dating goodbye " by joshua harris. The title totally turned me off, and when charlse gave me the book as a birthday present, which was like 3 days after my break up, i never ever wanted to see that book near me in anyway possible... but times passes, now i confidently can let go of the relationship, and read the book. and now i realized i should have read the book earlier...

It talks about the beauty of relationships, between a man and a woman. And about serious and God fearing aspects of it. I thank God that Charles passed me the book. I really owe you one now...

1 month before the performance, better sleep for tomorrows session, NIGHT!

~~~~~~~~~~IVAN OUT TO TO TO!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

KAY KAY KAY!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOO~~~~~~!

EIZ zZzZZzAA!~~` BLOG go GO go Go go FUUUU~~~~!!!!

to all dedicated die hard fans, WAZZUP-P! long time no see, ah... can sense that my ratings dropped a little... BUT ITS OKAY! Who can resist coming to the site of the rare christian Ivan FUU! eh, now its not the time to resist. WA haha! ALRIGHTO-to-to-to!

Time to make up for lost time! Sorry no time machine fer you guys for you to sit in, but if yer like the guy from the movie "Butterfly Effect", ehz za! KUDOS TO YOU!

kay kay kay, without further a-do! .....

~~~~~~~~BLOGGO TIME-MO_HO-ho!~~~~~~~~~

Alright-ta! Welcome back for another round of the steady moving, but fast crapping Ivan (crowds cheers) YAY! sei wah, many ask me... " Ivan, you like real life quiet calm and cool, You online machiam weird weird one." hey, Both sides are the real deal. Its just that i rather remain the cool dude you see in the streets, so can save strength to type for you all mah. C how much i love you guys <3<3<3~!

K k. Today i will show you the best way to burn the whole morning away if yer having the blues...





start of the journey: "Eh, what you all wanna do ar... cinema close liao, no chance to catch snakes in the plane..." "Dunno"






"Heh, tell you all what lah, I know what to do ( strikes pose )..."
Current time: 10:21 pm
Current location: Plaza Singapura








The great singaporean tour 06!
Time: 2:47
Location: outside Raffles place shopping centre
Starring ( from left ): Tan Teng Yao, Justin Yeo Wei Ming, Ivan Teo (no need cheena name lah hor)





location: outside British Club
Scenario: Seize the chance to sleep on the road!





time: 2:55 am
Scenario: Car accident? (Er... hope this never happens to me...)(ya lah, its me on the ground, all for the sake of art!)





Location: Next to benjamin shears bridge
scenario: "Eh, Ivan, you choose where to go next..." "er, anywhere lah... feeling a little hungry liao... , Lets head to lau pa sat lah!" "Set arhz..."





Time: 3:09 am
Location: Fullerton place
Scenario: Erm, still figuring out... But hey look beyond and you will notice something more worth looking! haha




Time: 3:15 am (approx)
Scenario: "should be near lau pa sat liao... i think"




Time: 3:25
Location: Unknown
Scenario: "Aw crap, did we take the wrong turn?" "beats me" "Argh, beat you lah."





Time: 3:26 am
Location: heaven
Scenario: "cheh i thought lost sia, you take wrong turn..." "so hungry it makes me go like... like that guy next to me!" "haha, me too!" "thats the sign board lah you idiots"




Scenario: "Nothing beats supper like ba chor mee, mai te gua! (literally)"




Time: from now on unchecked cause all the rest from hp
Scenario:" Wah, that was a good meal. plus drinking hot coffee through straw keeps us energetic and running! (cos its so darn #@$^%& HOT!), hmmm, where should we go to enjoy ourselves"




"hey check that 2 bar-tenders-in-training out... cool moves... also smart to train like 4 am, since no one will watch you..."




"haha, thats entertaining... so where next?
"Come, I bring you play gao gao"




"you call this fun? Clark Quey still close lah..."
"neh, macdonalds still open ma-"
"We just ate lah, siao!"
"ar nvm, lets head back to esplanade..."




"Wth! this place machiam red light district ar..."
"hey walk faster, police looking at us..."
"scared wat, we not say underaged-"
" (barhostess)(looks like a tranvestite barhostess btw) -Boys, come join us-"
(running like no tomorrow)




"phew, that was close... eh, where are we now?" "dunno why dun we ask the-"




"-parliament?" "you drink too much coffee is it? now 4.30, you think they in meh?"




"wow, funan. we're back in City Hall again... looks like people open shop liao"
"all good starts end with a good ending, lets go back to douhby"




"hey isnt that the old MPH, gone liao sia...""the national museum soon also lah..." "eh, what the... the siren inside went off! cao ar!"



"hmmm, isnt SMU a little early? woah, cool watermelon like ceiling..."




" I've got to to go to the Y-M-C-A, need to go to the Y-M-C-A, ay "




"back where we started... time to sleee-"
" oi! no slping! eh , we go orchard walk walk lah! now we can own the road ar!"
"can lah... we go taka ba..."




"Orchard road liao... quite fast... centerpoint... weird how these shopping centers with no cinemas and gaming can survive ar..."
"Not everybody got life mah... these shopping centres are girls healing sanctuary... trust me i know.."
"oooooh..."



"haha, destination reached..." "lets go to that spot. I need to slp, later got 10 hour workshop in school..." "haha, k... tomorrow SP will have one zombie liao-"
"- ar, just keep quiet la..."


Thats about the end of the journey. I had a half an hour rest, went to school, half dead actually... MRT open liao. Campus Crusade has this workshop to train on CE , haha, our church got Christianity Explored, Campus Crusade got Christianity Explained... Breach of copyright? haha i leave it to the higher authorities. I was asked to lead worship there, and that was my first time leading worship, with a small group of about 40 plus people, abt YF size liao...

It was frightening yet a great experience, makes me wanna lead more worships in the future. I hit it off with a "we're together again" YF walk around greet pple style. Then I continued with a 6 Hymn medley which i played in contemporary style, and i sang my heart out! I totally Left the whole worship into God's hands, and he pulled out something more from me. I was afraid that i might zao sia in front of everybody, but i did not, in fact i think i sang marvelously! Thank you God, I want to sing more praises for you!

God indeed watched me all the way, I need to focus more on him more than ever if i want to work in his ministry. God's ministry focus on God's guidance is God's will.

AMEN! wow, what a long entry, longest yet! ( wait for more latest news from me k?)
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

~~~~~~~IVAN OUT TO TO TO!~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hey hey hey, exams ending soon... but not yet finish yet! haha, but here i am writing for you dedicated fans of themysteriousgift.blogspot.com! continue to support this site with your prayers and constant thoughts of the rare christian ivan! wahahaha! FUUUUUUUUUUU!

Anyway i finally complete the sentence for " how rare? medium rare." the additional is for God to say "well done" wow! i really look forward to that day! hahaha.

Anyway, i might be making a game for fun, using C# to make the logic blah blah blah... So phebe here's the new pic of the protaganist of the game!


Hero "Stiege"

And here's the Rocker Princess that i created that day, just touched up on her a bit...


Rocker Princess Rita!

The game will be something like Final fantasy like that, or you could say that it is a clone. BTW, check it out Final Fantasy 7 : Dirge of the Cerberus is out! All Final Fantasy fans who played ff7 and watched Advent Children and Before Crisis, go get it now!


haha going to get it once i lay my hands on a ps3.

PS3 is going to be released like next september, by then i will wait for a year for the price to drop then i will purchase it with FF12 and FF13! FUUUUUU!


PS3, controllers not actual.

We had BS last friday and had a little debate about whether its ok to purchase little pleasures, things that we enjoy that cannot be used to glorify God. And i gave them my answer: All things are permissible, but not all things are beneficial. If what you get hinders you from getting close to God, remove it. Like the verse thats say if your hand cause you to sin, cut it. Its better to enter the kingdom of heaven maimed then enter hell. We can get what ever we want, however discern the motive behind the purchase. God despise pride, for people who buy things and boast about them. so ya, discern, and reflect if that thing is going to cut you away from God.

So ya, careful wat you buy k? esp girls who cannot control your money spendings... dun point fingers guys... girls you know who you are... hahaha!

kk better go back and study liao... dun be sad k? once my com up and running i will upload all my videos! and by then i will get my Video cam back! yay!

~~~~~~~~~IVAN OUT TO TO TO!!!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

Hey Hey HEy, slacking during the exams period. Not really but am here to show evidence that i really do study!



Haha, Dennis , Zerong, Damien and me at our final attempt to master engineering maths 2. Not easy man... haha but i pulled through... i think...



Hmmm, kinda look back at it... i really wished i had put in more effort...

THATS WHY I CANNOT SLACK LIAO! I promise i will blog more once i finsh exams! I promise.

Ivan out! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!

Hey guys! i will be updating my blog much lesser than usual... ( aw... ) hahaha.erm, partly due to the exams? haha, i wish that i was more hardworking... However i will be adding many videos i took with my trusty Sony Ericsson K700i. Note that the quality isnt that great, but i love taking videos. When i get back my old sony camera, i will be taking more proper videos. Haha, looks like i am going more media based than word based liao. Better for you to share my experience than let you read more nonsense all the time. FUUUUUUUUU!

but before i leave there's more urgent things to attend to and thats...

~~~~~~~~~~BLOG GO GO GO!~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ERHZ! sup guys! the past few days i realized one thing, its expensive to go for all the activities you wanna go... haha, think about all the food you need to eat! I just went to the fireworks festival yesterday ( not bad New Celedonia, however a tree was obstructing my view... ) and i had to eat something... and i spend a total of $15 bucks total on food for the whole day. Partly is due to the fact that i and my friend chiong pizza hut and KFC for lunch... (first time i cried while eating KFC, Because i was that close to exploding...) haha, guys watch what you eat k? You are truely wat you eat.

I truely see the danger of burning out, and staying away from the people who gave you the burnt out... There's a high tendency that you might backslide, cause you are enjoying what you might call freedom. Its feel so good to do what you wanna do, unlike doing stuff that you might feel obligated to do... So why burn yourself out? Let me tell you from my experience why i got burnt out.

There's the dead line. You enjoy what you are doing until you recieved the deadline. Thats when everythings dead. I enjoy doing doing things however, time limit restraints the joy of serving. However, i know that this is my mistake, i do not have discipline and time management. Guys, what we do know is being programmed into the future us, the attitude we have for our jobs and stuff like that. We might suffer a repercussion.. it might intensify... lets do our best to discipline ourselves. Just like paul said that he beat his body to listen to him, He has total power over his body! Sloth is indeed a deadly sin, so lets buck up k?

Another factor is failure to accomplish what you hope to accomplish. The session i had with you all, i was already in burnt out mode. however, i used whats remaining of my spiritual discipline to bring forward my message. However, it was not wat i hope it turned out to be. I did not let God take control of the picture, I was a games show host more than a preacher... I was inadequete. Thats because i did not think about something about myself... my limits! I thought i can do everything. I thought i can really do everything through him who gives me strength! How naive i truely was... If i can do everything then wouldn't i be better in everything i do? I can everything? I expected too much of myself. And now i find myself running away from the source of failure, my motivation. I brainwashed myself into thinking i was some kind of Superman... haha, superman on kryptonite more like...

Right now you all may be wondering why i may be fading a little in the YF... i do not want to be noticed... I hope to lead the quiet life once more, more time for myself,so i can grow on my own. Its not that i do not want fellowship, but i want just more space for myself... i just feel like i want to be alone for the while K? so pls dun be so worried when you read this, i truely understand the situation i am in. I am doing something about this.

Haha... during this time, i will exploring the world of music for the while. i truely want to see the world. I want to. So you keep updated with my life through my videos, i will upload the crucial moments in my life k? I promise!

And oh yeah... I may want to stay single for quite a while... i realised that i still cannot control certain parts of my emotions and desires... haha you know what i mean lah... plus God have not really shown me who i should approach... The loniness is gripping me at time, but hey, his grace is sufficient for me. There are times when i break down in repentance, crying my heart out like a baby in front of the Lord, crying for hope, crying for someone to embrace me. I come to church to worship the Lord with my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. But I can truely worship him, just me and my trusty guitar, strumming tunes like amazing grace, or the songs i wrote... The tears that flow, express enough how much i truely yearn to see the Lord, How much i do not want to live in this world where i must go through all the emotional and physical strains...

sure i may sound depressed, but hey, The joy of the Lord is my strength. I know that the Lord expects my return, like the prodigal son, on top of that, i realised that i am pretty bold when it comes to battling with the spiritual realm, i want more exposure. I truely want to see casting out of demons, evil spirits, hauntings... Dunno why... But i sense the sovereignity of the Lord more in times of Darkness rather than in comfort zone. I want to be like Peter who stepped out of the boat to approach Jesus at sea. There's more to this, I know! I cannot stay enclosed in this secular world, where everyday life is just about sustaining and upgrading your diminishing physical life. I need to explore the world!

Ah hah, but what is my priority? Sure its study, family, church, my band, silkroadonline account... but my greatest want is to explore everything the Lord has created! The beauty! the horrors! oh i am so excited at the thought of going to see the world! argh! so excited it hurts...

But now all these are just dreams... reality is that i got to work for everything... I cannot fail my mother in studies now... I want to excel in my guitar so i can bless the youth... I want to master the guitar first then come and help the youth!

With me and my guitar, I am going to sign out now! CYA!

~~~~~IVAN OUT TO TO TO!~~~~~~

Yo! welcome back for an all new adventure of the rare christian Ivan! The date is 7th of august 2006 and the time is 7.07 pm. perfect timing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~BLOG TIME GO!!!!!!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ERHZ~! Long time no see guys. I hope you did not go for counselling sessions just because i had take a short leave.Any ways guys, time for an update-te! I am still hahaha, happy cause i have to. No rather i say i got to be happy for this period of time, for who knows what lies ahead. Can you ever foresee the dire consequences of forsaking thy destiny? " To be or not to be, that is the question..." - (no link). ARGH!, the very thought of it brings shivers down your spine, hairballs atuck in your throat, bad hair days, your best friends cooking, armegeddon, the end of reality. Yes my friends, there's no escaping from the horrific beast that appears every halfth of thy year. He raises you or crush your whats-left-of-your-brain to smitterins. You probably got it right, Its the exams.

You still can say cheh, you really buay bah ar. Skin so thick i go to war need AP to scratch you? You study yet? Not yet? Still reading this blog ar! SI GI NA(hokkien)!Chee Du Su LAH(Singapore chinese)! eh, where you all going? Blog entry still not finish lah.

Recently, life was rather interesting for the while. God was faithful and allowed many things to occupy my time in times of spiritual dryness. I look forward to serving the Lord with a Dua heart and a Dua smile! :)

Have you been to the NDP this year? AH hah, sry lah. i know its not time yet. However, i truely recommend this years for the fire works. truely a work of art and timing precision. And if you got the chance , go catch the fireworks festival this 3 days. Its really something that you can look forward too, cos singapore got too much money liao. So they got to burn it, by burning fireworks in the sky. Dun you just love this spoiled nation?

And yeah, attended the preview show with my cousin, Lester. Was probably enjoyable cos i never attended a NDP for years. However this year is special, cos its gonna be the last in the Kallang Stadium.

And yeah, those who attended the Festival of Praise ( FOP ) held in the indoor stadium during the 4,5,6 of august, hope you were edified by the messages and praise sessions. I do enjoy the praise ( note i did not say worship, cause the noise and lyrics make it hard to ... Worship ) and the message based on the passage of Gideon the mighty warrior. I AM A MIGHTY WARRIOR! FUUUUUUUU! haha. thank God for the message.

haha, i also attended the SUPERBAND DA JUE SAI! WOAH! steady ar singaporeans! Go forward in the music scene ba! I would like to congratulate MILO Bing! I will start drinking milo bing until you become faded like poor taulfik, who is currently working as a staff in 7-11, so when you see him say hi k?

Ar!The band J3lli-F1$H is going to record its first song, titled "I suck at guitar". So when my band record finish it liao, support support k? haha, Norman dun hate it cos its a little simple plannish.

KK. SP students, watch out for MM day, I have a probability of performing, of course not alone lah. later i steal the show how? haha. Will most likely be playing a nickelback song. Happy guessing.

ARgh! really need to study and practice on the guitar, must not lose out to you guys at church. esp. people like norman, jasper and yangkai. I hope to catch up with you guys soon.

Now that Charles is Hainan on a business stint, Don and I ( russell peter's hong kong joke) will be overlooking over the Christian education sector of the Yf ministry. So pls guys, We need more people to enter the ministry.

I will be bringing up Yuki as the future leader of the Yf in one way or the another cause i want to help him grow in Leadership.

Ok ok., i got to go, my cousin dragging me to go to the pasar malam downstairs. so see ya k!?

IVAN OUT_TO_TO_TO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey welcome back guys. Thanks for praying for me and reading about the mysterious gift. I want to acknowledge the people that see me through prayers. Thank you whoever out there.

Now seven month. Hungry Ghost festival... BOO! haha, hope i did not scare you there. However, now i want to share a little about the paranormal and it can be a little not too comfortable to read... since you can still smell the incense from the burnt offering... ...

I used to be very intrigued and curious about things i can never really understand. Some of the things are:
- God
- Extra terrestrials
- prophecies
- occult
- girls

and one of them to top the list is... you guessed it, GHOSTS! I never really encountered the paranormal before, however, I heard many stories about them. I hope that next time someone ask you whether you ever encountered, pls lah, dun have means dun have, dun come make some story k? All those stories of complete apparitions of humans have a high possibility of being fake.

Let me tell you what i firmly believe before you come and tell me that i talking or believe in nonsense or not obedient to God's word. First of all, I want you to know, you not believing does not means its not there. Same with God. Its also the same with lost souls and evil spirits. I believe in learning about everything so you wont be too shocked when something happens. IVAN OF ALL TRADES STRIKES AGAIN!

Here is what i know. Spirits are clumbs of electrical entities. They cause distortion in the atmosphere, magnetic field and can cut off current in a circuit or short circuit items. Upon which, they react with the surrounding atmosphere, or particles in the air, causing a possibility of forming some kind of image. However if you all realize, you cannot see electric currents. Therefore you need specialised equipments or apparatus to see them or listen to them. However i do not want to cover that as it is another story by itself.

There are many category of spiritual encounters, ranging from your average orbs to a real angry poltergeist. They cause damage from shocking you to death, to tearing your house apart. They can be anywhere, everywhere. You might feel them at times, they distort your sensory systems at times, thats the reason why sometimes, you get too shocked to move when you see one, since your system is not listening to you anymore. Here are some of the things you might feel:
- Chills at your back
- aching back
- bad feeling of something
- headaches
- numbness
- weird feelings in your body
- many others

However scary or powerful the entity is, let us remember that we have a God who saves. He protects and in the authority given to us by Jesus, evil spirits cannot harm us. The truth shall set you free. There is only one spirit in us and thats the Holy Spirit. Keep faith that the Lord will protect and shelter. Believe in the spiritual realm, the realm where God reigns and angels and demons battle. In this realm, a parallel dimension, is very real. I read about 2 american scientist who tried to time travel, using nuclear technology , using speed to light quantam physics to propell particles across dimensions, returned from a place where they saw things too scary to describe and went mad. Dunno the story true or not, but there is still the possiblity, like i mean, can you imagine invisible people? The US already have cloaking what, nothing new.

Whether you want to find this useful, up to you. You read it already what, haha i accomplished something. So wisen up and learn what you read but discern. Ask about what you read and comment on this entry if you all can about your encounters and explanations. I am sure others want to know to.

May the Lord bless those who seek his knowledge and face.

Ivan out!

Argh, the strain in the brain, Ivan is here again, so lets gets straight to business. ( workers take leave to read my entries...)

~~~~~~~~~~ BLOG TIIIIIIIIIIIMME-MOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!~~~~~

Haiz, I am such an idiot. I realised that after my blog kinda offended a few girls... i shall not name who. Argh, forgive me k? From now on i try to leave people related to me out of the picture. I know my mistake already k? Ha, but best you do not stay cooped up in that little world of yours... we all need friends. But i went too far i guess, we need our privacy. So if i offended you in any way possible, sorry k? ( I rather take a head butt of zidane now...)

OK! I shall not include girls into my entries from now. I respect your decision to the heart. SOOM PAH! haha. wah... starting to regret taking engineering as my course of studies liao... maths everyday man... no one else in church or my friends are taking the kind of course of study i am taking? Am i smart or dumb? not sure already... argh the strain in the head. Decided to do this entry even though i have a C# programming test after this.

Guys, lets be frank with ourselves. Are we doing the things we really want? I reflect and reflect and actually the real reason i entered this course is because i thought its rather prestigious and high class. You can imagine things like this when you are in my course...

A: " Wow long time no see now, what are you studying?"
Me: "Aeronautical engineering"
A: (If the person is smart enough) "Wow... thats tough! you must be really smart!"
Me: "Not really... I am one of the lousiest in the class..."
A: "Ok... whats your GPA ( Grade point average )?"
Me: "er... only around 2.8..."
A: "wah seh, so smart ar..."

And it can go on and on and on ( on to the power of a million) About how good i am or something like that... then they all think i am some kind of superman then dun care how i feel.

I honestly find it very tiring to do the task people entrust into my hands. I like the authority, but the power comes with a price. I need to be mature, EVERY WHERE I GO! i need to show the level of respect for my superiors and stuff like that... I dun really like the Hierachy system.

What happened to speaking in love to one another? I find my brothers telling me things that put me down. You think i think slow to shoot back at you because i am slow to respond? More like you all practice shooting so much that your mouths naturally feed your ego. I despise you people. However through the love of Christ, I learn to love you people as well.

I apologise to people who offend me or been offended by me in any way.Guys, Sorry if my mouth have been rough or thinking of making myself look good, saving my pride. Girls, sorry for my insensivity. I know i am a boring and lousy guy to talk to. From now on, expect lesser nonsense to come from my finger tips and mouth. And i will put more focus into my studies, quit my extra module and focus in my ministry work.

On top of that, I want to learn how to put girls out of my life. I am rather tired of playing catching with you girls out there. It strains me emotionally, financially, physically, spiritually and others ways.

I really want to get a girl friend, believe me i do. However i am not made for the chase of the girls i truely desire. I desire girls who are good looking, modest, and just care for me no matter what i say or do... However, i realised that i have been treating everything like one big joke...

My studies are going down the drain... i feel spiritually dry... i feel extremely lonely... i grow bored in the people i meet, the things i do... I am just tired of everything... tired of not being myself... I want to feel welcome... but i feel like people rather i welcome others than i feel at home. They expect me to act as a mature adult, but honestly i do not want to. in 2 years time, i will entering NS... please let me have a sense of freedom before i start working in the secular world... I do not want to have a deprived teenage life...

I know i sound immature, hey i dun blame you man. Try being somebody you are not for the next 2 years, let me know how you feel. Right now, all i really want to accomplish is to straighten out my life, create more breathing space and recreation time for myself, and enhance my skills or areas that i should touch on.

so please my friends, sometimes when you truely want to see the beauty of something, sometimes its best to see it truely free.

Ivan out

AL--- RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGhT~! bloggo bloggo bloggo ENTRY GO GO GOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
Touched with the passion the Pah- sion! OF LOVE!!!!!! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!

kk, thanks to all to those who enjoy my session and brought home something , be it the lesson, the fun, the whackiness, the less than a dollar pencil ( ooops... HAHAHA ) or purely great time of fellowship and worship to the Lord almighty, who reigns over the heavens and the earth!

Ehz, Like to ask you something. Isnt singapore being small great? First of all, its possible to go around singapore in a day. Next, you keep bumping into all your friends. Ya i know, sometimes you dun wan, but they . ~WHISTLE~ ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE!! ~ WHISTLE~~ WHOOOOOO! steady ar, thank you MR Carlsberg, i promise i will drink you from now on. WAH HAHAHAHA! ( no lah... i dun drink... unless depress then different story, where i mix beer for water. oops )

Oh yeah, Happy Birthday to Singapore, Jermyn, and CHRIS! good job guys for staying well for so long, please continue to survive and strive fer the Lord man. Do us proud by getting at least 50+ marks for every subjects and A+ for CCAs. WAY TO GO!

Finally ended my guitar course, however going to miss Kum soon fer the while... NOT! gonna crash that old man's guitar shop this friday and give him a heart attack about me damaging justin's father's $3500 ++ Gibson Les Paul.yikes! no lah, I just taking a friend to patronize the place lah.

hmmm, Thank you Lord for laying down paths that are smooth sailing and turbulent at the same time. Now i am talking to my ex again. Seems like eternity since we spoke to each other. Actually i have not met her for 3 years, ever since we broke up... I asked her to join me at the St Patricks Rock concert charity, event name called "SPROUT ROTI" or "St Patricks Reaching OUT to India". Actually i went to support my class mate daryl's band, Tealfault, but Ronin was there too. HAHA, that Albino lead singer is weird man, he always look as if he is on drugs... Not bad ar daryl, remember the rare christian ivan when you become famous OK! or i promise you a eternal spam of chain mails... bwa ha ha ha....

Oh yeah, back to my ex, haha, never seen her 3 years, how she have grown. She is much prettier now, and much mature... hmmm... However i do not want to rush things, although we now talking alot, and i kind of BHB to her... but i never talk dirty to her OK! I am not flirting and i dun go for flings k!We are just friends! unlike you JUSTIN! HAHA! FORGIVE ME! hahaha

Currently i find myself engulfed with girls... Recently read a whole comic series titled " Ichigo 100% " . The story is about a guy, who gets involved with a lot of pretty anime babes in high school, and has to break their hearts because he cannot decide among them. ARGH! I HATE THE ENDING. The ending is that he did not end up with the girl he is suppose to be with, but another girl because he does not want to hurt her.

Fine, I professed to the Lord that i am very very tempted to jump into a relationship with any of the girls i know now... However, i want the Lord to guide me. Cos you give me a chance... i dunno man... i might FUUUUUUUUU!!! #CENSORED# #CENSORED# ( wat you thinkin man... :) )

Today ( 25 june 2006 ) i met Esther of Campus crusade during our CLM today. Turns out she is from my church as well! Cos i saw a picture of her husband, MING JET! wooo ... ( tune starts ) ( its a small world after all, its a- AH SHUT UP! BANG! (shotgun lowered)) hahaha! She will be doing BGR talk for the YF on october... and she confessed something about the offer to do the talk infront of SPCCC, not knowing that i was the chairman of my youth... heh heh heh. can black mail pple liao... ( WT! am i thinking... Arent i truely a follower of Jesus? Why thy evil desires beckons reasoning! Argh! Down you lackey of the gratified nature!"

heh, to You who truely wants to read a poem purely written by me, Angela, here we GO!

The Spectacle

Behold the grandior of whirling mass
A spark held by consuming strains
Crash and snaps of new terrain
Yet new life was bane but soon to wane

The first of man lay the domain
from lush pastures to the vast plains
The Maker judge an eternal toil
who ever who eats of this soil

Towers rose and Kingdoms fall
uprisings and a quick winter guide
many a fallen, taken in haste
meets the One that sets them in place

The Lord creates and the Lord takes
A new creation and destruction wakes
There will come the time when the serpent falls
the pillars that follows, follows suit.


Argh... poem not that good lah... what you expect, i never really written for yearss liao. But good attempt, i will catch up with my english soon! And i gonna pick Jap as well. well at least i say a famous qoute from a very distinct individual of the Japanese society. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!

k, gotta sleep now

IVAN OUT- TO! ( guys remember, dun eat extra bitter chocolates, they do things man...)

Sorry about yesterday... I had no control of my FINGERS!!!!! They had a life on their own for 30 minutes! FUUUUU! haha, temperamental me have gone away. Its the time of the month lah, you should know. HAHA AL RIGHT TY! LETS GO- su!

~~~~~~~ BLOGGO ENTRYO GO! GO! GO!~~~~~~~~~

Oiz! Bet you all wondering why i went berserk on the devil yesterday. I just felt that he really pissed me off! Ah, My sinful nature overwhelms me. But in Him who gives me strength and victory, I will over come everything!

OH KAY! SUP SUP SUP, you probably miss me. I think i had ruin the long anticipation with the feud i have with the evil one, But hey its gonna happen when it happens! But oi! you are very dedicated in the documentary of the rare christian IVAN! Today i will be talking about.. guess who... ME LAH!

Years ago, I was named "Fighter". Probably for everything I did. Dun get the name wrong, I did not fight! In fact i was quite cowardly. But I earned my title through my hard work, I never gived up. Heres one story.

I just joined the bowling team, i was one of the pioneering members. PLus i am the only guy with no bowling background, it was always seen as a leisure sport until i joined the unofficial school ( or rather aspiring ) cca. I bought a new ball, new shoes and learned how to play straight. HAHA guess what. When i joined the inter school was about a months away! I had only a few training sessions! I knew i had to do something, plus i knew i had no time to play hook! I then desperately had to master something, accuracy and timing. I was a complete NOOB! I observed people and watched their techniques, but i could not mimic any! So i had to go down to my only strength, guess what? its my strength, literally la!

I mastered the bullet technique in a few weeks! Its a hyper risky, low accuracy , but high strike rate skill! However my coach was not always pleased at my discovery.
He said that the technique would dampen my hooking abilities! I said that i would do my best at the inter schools even if it cost me longer training to hook the ball. He never said anything, but continued to train me on accuracy.

The technique made me quite well known in the east bowling world for a while. I was known as the " heart attack!" or " Thunder" .partly due to the extremely loud crash that i made every throw! But then the reason why i was known as fighter came during the tournament.

I was at my second game of three games of the competition. I was completely nervous for its the first big game i ever played. The nervousness cost me dearly and in my frenzy, i accidentally cut my fourth finger. Al though the bleeding was not that bad, it hurts everytime i picked up the ball. I listened to every advice of the coach and pushed my self to the limits for the second game. I used as much strength and concentration in every shot, However, it did not win me a high score.

That day we lost pretty badly, partly distracted most of the ways cause we were the only guys playing in that section of tournament ( FORGIVE ME LA , the rest all girls cos we submit our entry too late). However, i won the respect of the coach as the only player that put all my soul into the game. I did not realize it, but i was looked like as if i could not take it anymore, and wanted to collapse, but hey, something gave me strength, its passion man!

OK maybe some of you may not think its inspiring, but it was to me. I strived my way through, and learned almost every technique and information. Haha, again Ivan the jaack of all trades strikes again.

To know everything is good, to know nothing, ignorance, is not bliss! You think you dun care that does not mean it goes away. You might need to know a little of everything. Its really helpful, plus you get to meet a lot of people along the way! I know all the big names in the bowling world! haha, you can meet all the big names, inspired by them, inpsire others. You influencing someone, believe me it feels good. What greater influence if we can show how great is our GOD?

SAY SAY SAY! you all better come to youth this sunday! COS I AM GONNA TEACH!FUUUUUUUU!!!!!!! Its gonna be on LURVE>>> whistle whistle! YUP! LURVE! all you lurvy doveys out there! wake up and come on down to QLC this sunday! And i will teach you what truely is the emothion we all wanna give, you know it man, its LURVE! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!

Love is in the air guys, if you do not notice, in the busy world of singaporean students, the guys a pretty busy doing something else. Chasing their future wives! FUUUU! you dun need a PHD to know that, you guys ar, Hormones come out only chase girls liao! NO SHAME AR! haha, not say i dunno what you all are doing, cos theres a time in st pats, I WAS DOCTOR LOVER! FUUU! haha, that one joke lah. I cannot love for nuts. All my relationships were not picture perfect and now no time to even settle down and start a plantation of kids. WHAT AM I THINKING! must be the chocolate i just ate, extra bitter! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!! WOAH WOAH WOAH! haha, getting mad liao.

Let me say a spell when you come to this blog. NONSENSICO ABSORBO! now you can listen to my crap! WAH HEY! Love love love! haha... how i long for one... I really wait for the day i can get a companion.

But hey, love and dun make war, you get what i mean you cheeky guys out there, POWER TO THE PEOPLE MAN! Dun Zidane everyone you see k? WAHha!

haha, GIRLS dun be too shy to pick up the application form k?
Ivan OUT!

First of all. you all should know this tone by now... I cannot make a fun entry today. However the vindicated self will aspire to dissappear soon as the haze dies down. Hold on your yearnings for i shall soon return

But in this entry, I want to do a few things

After so long of what i think was chasing God is a stumbling block for me. Its not because i have too many ministries to attend to, but its because the idiotic immature self that stills wants to feed its self worthiness. I feel so selfish! I know i cannot do so many things, yet i knew that no one would do them, but i have not seeked those who might do a better job? Am I not a stumbling block to you if I deliver something not well done? Surely you would want to be out of range of where i would go! I do not want to curse anyone, But i do wanna say this to those associated with the evil one named Satan or Lucifer the fallen.

You may run triumphant in the fall of man, But in the death of His Son, You shall eat the dust of the earth once again. You of pure evil and hatred for the Lord, The meek shall reign over the legions where you lay domain over. From the beginning of man, to the end, you stayed to watch man kill themselves. You have brought us the age of decline and degeneration, And you prosper in the suffering of all. You who do not submit to the love and authority of the Father, You shall eat your words when you have to bow before the father over the damage you have done! You plague the earth, and you corrupt the hearts! I will not forgive those who seek deniel of the truth, those who prosper in the shadows of the blackened wings. The fallen stands on high grounds, stands on the head of men. He laughs and scorns those who try to oppose him. Yet Victory is ours! He have no longer a hold on those who claim the blood of the lamb! My friends! Jesus died to save you! And to prove that he can reign triumph over death, that he has already won over the gates of hell, He rose from hell to heaven! You can defeat the evil one! How ignorant are those who think that evil co exist. The balance of good and evil was brought to man in free will! Our sinful nature is what free will brings, Death! Why do you all justify yourrselves, make your self feel better? Why do you bargain with the Lord? I am a hypocrite, I done a good deed hoping that my sincerity will win the love and embrace of the Lord. How immature i truely am! I detest the flesh yet savour pleasure from it! Am i truely not a hypocrite? You who think you can sympathise, I truely want you to feel the Holy Spirit, who is grieved over the damage we have done. Are we not sensetive enough? Are we blatantly ignoring his will for us? The time will come when man will be against each other, brother against brother. Christians against Christians. Those who fight for what they believe will fight one another. The decline and the reign of the evil one. All will come to pass, so that the prophesies might be fulfilled. All for the Glory of Him, who seeks the return of those who want to return to him.

Ivan out.