Hi all, FYI I am going away to the far away land of PuLaU TeKoNg to serve my due. lol. The hair will be gone, and the muscles will be toned. But i will be ok. So dun worry, i will see most of you on christmas eve and the day itself.

Sadly, My beloved mum is away on a missions trip in Cambodia ( pray for her ) with the BB boys ( pray for them too ) and my God mum will be away in vietnam and they will not be able to see me off on that day. sigh, oh wells.

Honestly, I am nervous about this whole army thing, although i have alot advices and tips from my friends who are already in the army. And sadly i cant really go in with a peace of mind... here's why...

1. My Grandma

She insists on staying alone by herself and says that other people are a nuisance. She can hardly move due to her hips cos of her osteoporosis and she hardly have energy to do anything... I have a strong feeling that she will be too lazy to feed herself and she might fall sick easily... whom i am not sure who will take care of her if i am not around...

2. The dance

Ah my head is gonna explode with this one. Partly i am disappointed with myself for failing NAPHA is purely because of this. The dance is not completed and the first dance is this saturday!!! AHHHHHHHH. and worse. some of the dancers treat this like a joke and do not want to be serious. i cant take this ego nonsense from this crap head people. Yer know, i really wanna punch them big time. but i will leave it for army to toughen me up so i can knock them out real good :)

3. My relationship

My relationship is kinda in a mess. Going into army like this is pure suicide. But i have to be more optimistic about this, army will be a whole new phase of life for me :) so i can break from reality :)

4. others.

Some other reasons include ministry, like the EM band and the yf worship team. I feel strongly that i need to help out...

My cousin leon, he will be staying with my grandma... poor guy. But at least he will enjoy the new nintendo WII that we bought. lol

other reasons i am afraid of being forgotten. yer know, when you come back and like no one recognises you? Already I feel like everyone takes me for granted already... but to be forgotten? haha i tell you the truth. If I am forgotten in church, I plan to find a new one...

You know, My mum said that God gave her a message regarding me, that if i do not spend time with God, i will bear my own consequences. Actually i already feel like i am in this trap. I hate being busy everyday. I hate rushing around. BUT WHY THE HELL I TAKE SO MANY THINGS UP IN THE FIRST PLACE! and worse, no one really wanna help me. No one! there is no such thing as sincerity in this bloody world. Everyone is just bloody selfish. All they think about is themselves!

Sigh. K not all... i thank God that i have a few bros that i know they are 99% honest and sincere... sigh. I guess i am not that special after all. But i will still do my best in this dreadful world. I will still struggle with God.

Father, chain my hands to your word lest i fall, i fall on solid ground.

I am going to settle my army stuff later. And haha i give up checking who reads this blog sometimes, i just feel like no one ever reads it. so do leave a comment now and then, it will brighten up my day.

So brothers and sisters, please please please learn to place others before you. And learn to speak in love and gentleness. We can make a difference! I know we can! lets not be like the rest in behavior. Lets show them that even sheeps can be king of the animals, basing our strengths on humility and integrity.

Please pray for me, and if anyone who reads this? please talk to mavis too, she can be very lonely at times, and she needs people to talk to. but dun offend her too much k? lonely people are sensitive people :)

K the next entry is probably after a long time to come. so take care of yourselves. GOD BLESS.

GOOD BYE.

Perspective. Everything's about it. One matter,many views. You could be right or you could be dead wrong. You could be following your "conscience", you could be following God's. But its your power to define and discern that makes you have the right perspective about stuff...

Do i have the right perspective about matters revolving around me? not really. I can clearly say i plow through my life just like a oxen in the padi fields, with no intended directions but only straight.

What holds for us tomorrow? only God knows. So i just do my best each day and "prayerfully" breath the inevitable. The future. Its not near, but it does not seem pretty damn far as well...

Am i emotional? Am i a radical? Is my sense of logic illogical? Am i just stupid? or do i see everybody around me somehow living a lie? What do we live for? honestly? Have you really thought about this? Its easy to come up with answers, but do we live by the principles of our answers?

Its fear. An unknown fear that has crippled people to doing stupid things. Its a fear planted by the world, Its a fear that Satan allowed the world to inherit. Its the insecurity of the world. Thats what we all fear. Thats why we are hated.

The world hates christians. Because they do not understand us.

Its like fearing the unexplainable. Ghosts, aliens, monsters... you fear them cos you do not know them. "If you cant beat em, join them" is a very popular lingo these days, thats how frail humanity is. We break at reality. Thats why we "dream".

We brainwash ourselves, giving ourselves concluded purposes to our lives, and hopefully to live a life without regrets. Now let me ask you? is it any more different from drug traffickers, rapist, murderers? no. God has simply put it. No matter the magnitude of our undoing, sin is sin. All of us are condemned.

Thats where Christ kicks in, the foundation of our being. The only reason of living. Cos if we are all condemned to hell, committing suicide will shorten our journey there. We need christ. We need a foundation. We need christ in the foundation.

When i look at myself in the "mirror" (of my heart) I see a man with no hopes. Its really better if the world has one "me" gotten rid off. Then again, who am i to take away my own life? even killing yourself is a crime.

So that aside, why do you live? have you thought about it?

I see the church, And i am not judging, but i can say many of us might not make it to heaven. but then based on this philosophy we live wary lives meeting ends due while juggling to clear our guilts through our service or self justifications to our own principalities. Can you see how disgusting man has become already?

No, I am not saying that the earth is better off without men, but i am pretty sure that though God knew that this (this current times) is going to happen, THIS is not his plan. I am pretty sure of it.

Our world is linked directly with the kingdom of God. The world we refer to as the "supernatural world", but basing my theory on how our world works, I would think that the supernatural world regards the material world as "supernatural" itself. Cos it would be non existing unless God wanted it to happen. So God made it happen, and 10,000 plus years, here we stand.

Mankind reaches peaks in discovery, high ones and low ones. Amazingly, technology advances whenever its regarding indulgences and destruction. what about cure for cancer and stuff like that? Nah, no money. Reality crushes any heroes in this world.

But I'd like to believe that the kingdom of God is closer than we think it is. Its because we're "co-existing". Two worlds together. Thats what i feel. Our actions here can contribute to creation or destruction. And this cause-and-effect is not bounded by space and time. In fact, i believe that if i am right, mankind might not make it to the point of us making time machines or stuff like that... cos we're not permitted to. Anyway i dun think we're capable of producing a mechanism that can control the power of controlling space and time...

But wouldnt that be cool? time shifts and ripped fabrics of time and space. its all sci fi and human "creative" creations. Have you heard of the Chaos theory? Or is it called theory X? I cant remember, it was popular in the apocalyptic era.

Ah oh well. Conspiracies and Theories, whatever makes me happy. I guess i rambled my frustrations off. Meaning i can sleep a little better tonight. good night :)

Hi ya all! lots of stuff to upload today! cos yesterday and today were just packed with interesting stuff! Thank God! haha.



Ok first up we have pastor Jermyn to lead the YF with group 2 on why we should go to church. His testimonies really touched my heart!

then we used a game for an analogy. It's captain ball with a rubber ducky ( though i think using a balloon will suit the analogy better) Can you guess whats the moral of the story? I will try to get the pics from Christine soon! lots of pics i took with her cam!

Then we came back and Jermyn summed up the lesson of the day. The reason we go to church is to...

1. Meet God!
2. Fellowship!

And Next up is the task to show what they have learnt...

QLC GOT TALENT!

With judges...

Randy Jackson ( me. hahaha)
Paula Abdul ( Felicia )
Simon Cowell ( Donovan Wong )

The challenge was simple : there are 3 categories ( skit, song, poem ) and they are marked by the following criteria...

Creativity ------ 20 marks
Effort(gp effort) ---- 20 marks
relevancy ------ 30 marks
Personal touch ------ 30 marks

total ------ 100 marks

So here are some of the gp effort pics!





And Group 4 won with an award winning skit. lol. haha but i have to give credit to the other groups, esp group 3, who really tried their best, their poem was good but if they had more creative ways of presenting it, they would have won.

And oh yeah, I will try to upload the vids of the group performances. Will ask from evie!

and following that went to meet my friends for lunch and chit chat about Army stuff and later we went to watch MAX PAYNE! OH MY GOODNESS! ITS SUCH A PAYNE TO WATCH THAT MOVIE! IT SUCKS SO BAD. not that the graphics sucks.BUT THE STORY LINE IS NOT CONSISTENT, IT HAS A LAME PLOT AND ITS STUUUUUUPPPPPPIIIIDDDD! DUN WATCH! YOUR COMPO WRITING SKILLS WILL DROP!!!!!!!!!!!

after that was an even more interesting event. My God mum (youngest aunt) knows a famous dance instructor cos her company is involved. His name is Sunny Low, founder of the Sunny Low dance school. and get this, My mum used to dance for him in her younger days... sadly he cannot remember her... oh well.

So whats this event? Its the finals of the Singapore International dance competition 2008. You know those scene in Dirty Dancing where they compete in a ballroom where dinner is served and the spectators savor the dance as entertainment when the dancers compete to be the best in a category? Yup its like that.

I will upload some good photos soon but heres some with my own phone.











Haha heres a vid of my cousin dancing on the dance floor when theres a intermission. Its embarrassing cos its like dirtying the sacred dance floor! haha. sorry its side ways...



And yeah after that i asked lester to come over my place to help out with the Bouna Vista Dance item. We choreograph til 2 and after that i KOed til next day (which today) noon

Today i went to east coast with my cousin, Leon, who persistently dragged the family to east coast to play with the new skate board, the street wave board. here's a pic of how it looks like...




Its my first time! boy its scary at first, but i managed to work it out in maybe ... 30 minutes? By some heavy trial and error also la. lol. I thought i was kinda good for my first time :) here's a vid.



and i rode the thing non stop for 3 hours! haha i got cramps everywhere except for my left arm. ( mavis said i haolian, ah but i tried my best not to be arrogant liao... )

then when i went home, although my whole body is in pain, i was struck by inspiration when i was playing my guitar ;) This vid is taken when i am very tired ( eg. like now ) ( but i still wanna blog this first >.< )



Hmmm i am kinda happy with it though i planned it to be faster one... just that i really very tired. ( can see my face bloat alot right )

Hmmm oh wells, i kinda know that there are people who cant love others easily. Well i kinda love people easily cos i wanna see the best in people :) I really pray that God will touch the lives of people with bitter hearts, cos i know they need God's love more than others. So pray for them k?

Ok i really need to sleep. Got groceries to do tomorrow and there's dance practice and Chorale at night, not to mention i need to go to Bugis to look for something... K GOOD NIGHT!

FUN TIME WITH JSS KIDS

Hi all, here to just update with some of the stuff i have been involved in this month, I now have 4 students, so thats pretty much the story. Its kinda tough teaching people with no music knowledge at all, so i should stop saying stuff to that guy like "er you know... its much easier to teach that person than you..."

OH LOOK! Its me and some sec one kids from Jurong Secondary doing random stuff!



Justin Mui from LCCS called me and Jo to help out with this. Its some kind of amazing race, using historic landmarks around city hall area, wow, i never knew got so many interesting things around, I really thank God i went :)

The above vid is a challenge, they have to find the spot where sir stamford raffles first landed in singapore and pose like him for a min. haha

The next vid is a task where they have to find the merlion and find 5 tourist to sing a song to, they got a little over enthusiastic. >.<



haha, doesnt the lady look like Demi Moore? she got offended when i said that this vid is going youtube, haha man...

the picture is taken cos we need to show the group at this place. Can you guess where? probably not, cos we blocked the object in the end, We're at Fort Canning Park!



In the end i made friends with 2 of them, haha one of them really reminds me of mavis. Its more like she is elsie and mavis combine. ( ah the energy of youthfulness! sob i feel so old... ) and a guy... who later confessed that he has feelings for me... ok... enough about that!

All in all i enjoyed this journey, Justin asked me to share about my experiences in service about 2 weeks from now. so watch out for it!
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LOL Monster hunter madness!
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The new obsession with one hit KO! lol

The first vid was actually an accident where we ( Gordon and me )coincidentally left the poor monster at 1 HP. lol, so when things like this happen, you chance on it!



The next vid is justin , whose ranking is basically GOD-LIKE!, tried to one hit KO a monster but failed! he underestimate the opponent! lol




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Oooh the pulau ubin trip!
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The trip was fun, no accidents, THANK GOD!, rained but it brought us closer i guess. But what i remembered which was the most significant time was when i ride up a ramp in the advance trail! it does not look scary in the vid but i assure you, it can be quite intimidating, cos you have this sensation that you gonna fall anytime ( in fact the first time i succeeded the ramp i flew and crashed in to the ground, but i rolled in the grass so i was not injured at all! ) This vid is my 3rd attempt, my last attempt. after that yuki chased us to go... sob

AH... crap dunno where it went... ah such a glorious moment.

Oh well hear more from me next time! see ya!

The Takamine EGS330SC! Woot!

ALL RIGHT! MY FIRST ACOUSTIC GUITAR! haha yeah its my first, I am so happy with it ( cos i paid half the cost with the money from the GST package... lol) AND ITS MY FIRST ACOUSTIC GUITAR! NO MORE BORROWING FROM OTHERS! WOOOTS!

haha heres some pics to show ya!








SO HERE ARE THE 3 BABES! ACOUSTIC in front, CLASSICAL at the back, ELECTRIC at the side! WOO HOO! I GO #&$^%@&# WHEN I LOOK AT THIS PIC!




okok gotta slp! ROCK ON AND LOVE ALWAYS!

Just some thoughts...

Ya know, how can anyone say that they truly understand what you are going through? How many times when you are down and someone comes up to you and say "hey, i know what you are going through..." and suddenly you feel a little lighter? Is it magical? or are we deluding ourselves?

I chased a cat yesterday, was lunching with my grandma and the corner of my eye caught the sight of the cat darting in. It was smart... it ran straight under the sofa, hoping for us not to notice it. Out of anger, I ran to the newspaper stack, rolled it up and smacked the sofa real hard (this is not my first encounter with the animal) and it ran out in fear. But thats not enough for me.

I ran after it. In my flip flops, i ran like i never ran before. The cat was no match for me. Although it had about 5-6 metres headstart i was closing the gap. we dashed down the corridor and up the stairs. It was so close.

Then BANG, i unknowingly knocked down a parked bicycle in the spur of the moment. As my conscience took over, i slowed down and watch the pesky figure get away. Then with a sigh, i went to clean up the mess. The owner of the house came out, asking me what happened. i told her about the cat. She said "why chase the cat to this extend?"

People in church ask me, hey can you help me with this? I say yes ( as usual ) cause i see it a pleasure to serve. But then my family and friends ask me, hey you free? I will give them the usual "church". It does seem that i have no life, but the church is my life. I can honestly say that i have done more significant things in church than at home.

Someone one day asked me, "still busy", I replied shabbily, "yeah...". "Go slow". Hey man, do i carry the profile "I'm Busy" with me everywhere i go? Yeah I have a grandma with attention seeking problems, i have a few groups of close friends, I have my girl, But do i complain all the time?

Yeah i know i am complaining, mavis told me a joke from the noose this morning.

" the average singaporean complains about an average of 4 times a day when he/she is unhappy, and when happy? about 3 times. " LOL

haha guess what, I am an average singaporean. Kinda proud of that. Maybe i am like a girl in YF, who just had an IPOD gift, would be worried if there is nothing to worry about. Ah the sky's gonna drop... oh wait, I have not done this, done th...

Evil. Someone emailed me to not procrastinate about my worship ppt slides, and CC the email to almost everyone in the ministry. Saying he is graceful. Peh. You cant hide your lying eyes... You think i always anyhow do worship one is it? I am almost running out of songs that the old folks would appreciate and worship with... You cant truely understand. I watched a family today, so happy, though maybe they are struggling abit financially, but they got each other.

I want my own life, if i can i wanna restart everything. Too many bad decisions. too many mistakes. But i cant regret. I can only plough through whats to come.

My honest opinion, lets be sincere to one another. If we hate that person, go to the person and tell them what you dun like about him/her. And lets deal with it. Or not, learn to forgive and forget, something that i am trained to do in my family. If we harbor any hatred for each other, the person who loses is yourself. The party who overcomes himself takes the advantage, you lose out.

When you are angry and sad, we do stupid things. Sometimes things that we might regret our whole lives. But the truth is that, its not the end. Let us not be victims of a vicious cycle that might turn into a maelstrom or whirlpool for others. Lets all be more mature and think about others. Be sensitive, and always give a helping hand. Lets give without asking for anything unreasonable in return.

One problem that i see in alot of people today is that they know they have a problem, and yet they dont wanna deal with it. Once i had a friend, who smokes everywhere he goes, and when i persuade him to quit, he will say, "yeah, i know its bad man, i wanna quit, let me quit once i finish this pack" he's still smoking til today.

Why i wonder? is this the reality of the bondage of sin? Are people so blinded by their pleasure? sure i have my own problems, and i am struggling. But yet the more i struggle, it becomes stronger and harder to quit. It has grown to an addiction.

but i will not give up. And because i have fallen so low, so that i can understand how most people feel about their problems. I know i stand a place to help those who need more than just a sincere smile.

I feel that i have to say this, " LOVE YOUR UNLOVED

Love one another. before its too late. peace out.

Yesterday was our 5th month anniversary so i thought i'd do something for her

I LOVE MAVIS!

take that, you silly girl say i never blog about you. lol. These five months were a great five months together. Though we have our differences and disagreements, I really treasure you more and more. Sorry for being a guy who jumps at assumptions easily, i do think too much sometimes. I guess i am learning to trust you more and more! So once again...

I LOVE MAVIS!

Hi all, long time no blog. But hey... better late than never right? lol

Ok. Let me blog about some of the stuff that i feel are worth blogging about k? alot of things.
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THE FIRST SINGAPORE F1 NIGHT RACE

gosh i missed the practice and qualifiers, but i have no regrets. So happened to be in front of the TV last night at 7 plus, and the race was on. I watched all 3 hours of the race. I always used to think, how hard can racing be? i was so wrong. After watching i think you need to have talent. they racing for almost 3 hours, and travelling at an average 250 km/h. WOW! i admire racers now...
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Angelina's birthday

Hmmm, this was unexpectedly enjoyable outing, though i had much negativity about it all the way. partly because she kept pushing me to do stuff, but i did pretty much everything on my own accord in the end. Here's some pictures

Hi Guys, wow really long never update. KK i have to admit, i was lazy. Guess what? My school days are actually over... sadly my family wants me to get a job immediately. So i am taking my time to find a job if you know what i mean ;)

Been playing lots of guitar nowadays. Time to learn all the songs i always wanted. All the muse, Guns and roses, even hillsongs united. Sigh so much to do so little time.

The frustrating thing is that i need to know when is my enlistment. cristofori is interested to know, my family interested to know, I LAGI WANNA KNOW... I have not done my NAPHA yet....!@$@#$. Ah need to train again. How to work? ( excuses )

But I thank God that i have 2 guitar students who are learning under me now. They are paying and I plan to give my best! I even made notes for them. Pretty hard work ya know, try typing out tabs!

Haha, ya know i think i wanna try singing for other bands. Maybe it might improve my singing? who knows. But i think it improved a little, just a little. haha was a little delighted to know that one of my latest song, EOLS (earth oldest love song) was too hard for some people to sing. The low parts are too low and the high parts are too high. haha thank God for the deep bass you guys hear. You know what, let me make a vid with my new song!

Wait ar............................
..................

....................
...................

still making...



ok ok.... here it is




phew haha. all those pictures are almost random, but there's a theme in it. Happy watching!

FOP!FOP!FOP!FOP!FOP!FOP!FOP!FOP!FOP!

~~~FESTIVAL OF PRAISE 2008~~~

ARGH!!!!!! ITS THE BEST ONE SO FAR!!!!! WHY? first of all! I GOT GOOD Seating. ( this could be because we were there an hour and half earlier). Seatings was at the north entrance, in front of the stage. Honestly, it sounds much better and could see more.

2 bands were playing on every night ( FOP was from 1st to 3rd august ), reuben morgan and his Hillsongs team, and the new parachute band. Hillsongs played only one song which i know at the beginning and then a few others that i am not very sure about. But the next band blew me away.

ENTERING ----> PARACHUTE BAND!



At first the first sight of the lead singer took me aback ( i learned today that the singer name is Omega, cool eh ). He had a overall figure of a mascular hunchback, and has an impression of a koala bear. But his voice was beautiful. I loved it the moment i heard it. I went back home to research further on the band and fell in love with 2 of the songs that they made popular.

FIRST SONG : I BELONG TO YOU



I especially like this song cos not only its catchy and very raw rock feel, but the lyrics simply says that i belong to God. How beautiful is that? We belong to GOD! I really like how they play their bridge, its pretty different from the typical Hillsongs kind of bridge. Makes me wanna have a darn cool keyboardist now!

S3COND SONG : MERCY

This is a slow number, but i really can associate to it. I am a sinner and yet God showed me mercy, and its His mercy that saved me. AMEN!



This video is pretty unique, has a short summary of the life of joseph and how God was in charge of everything.

Then i cam across this vid of a church covering the song. I really liked what they did. Enjoy!



I am definitely going to get their new album, Roadmaps and Revelations. Hopefully i can include their songs into the Youth Worship and increase our vocabulary of praise to God.



And of course i will try to get the new hillsongs album too. though i prefer parachute, but I will always be a hillsongs fan.



Ok, and from FOP, I was rejuvenated by pastor Mark Conner, Man is he hilarious. The whole stadium was practically laughing their socks off. I know i did. He taught on the topic of investing in the things that really matter. First he indicated the things that do not have eternal value.

1st thing : Pleasures of the World

Its not just sexual, but anything that makes you "feel" good. What he learned is that pleasure is quick but temporary fulfillment, But if you serve someone else, Its a pleasure that slowly builds up.

2nd thing : Possessions

Thats right ladies, its your shopping and materialistic madness! ( okok, guys too...)Think about it, We are brought into this world with nothing, And we will leave this world with nothing as well. We cant bring what we have into the other world. Instead think of things that could give you treasures stored in heaven.

3rd Thing : Power

Pride, ego and Authority. Basically we crave for power. Maybe not so far fetched. Maybe we want to be popular. And to do that we do things that are popular to others, and not watch what we say, and not caring about the consequences of our actions.

And After this 3 points he went on to touch on the things that could help us make life more meaningful, and they are great reminders!

1st IMPORTANCE ---------> Know God

Knowing God is the greatest thing we can do. And that means becoming a friend of God, not just a blind arrogant follower. Cos God is not looking at the amount of bible study or head knowledge you have, not the amount of service you have given, but he is gonna look at your heart. How you do things in your life means more than the things you think are important to God.

2nd IMPORTANCE ---------> Love others

Jesus' 2nd greatest commandment. If we love others, we would want to stand as a follower of christ and reach out to them. As he mentions, we are the First Gospels, meaning people see how Christianity sets us apart from others. Next we share the gospel. And there is greater joy in serving others than always serving yourself.

3rd IMPORTANCE ---------> Invest your time, talent and resource

Invest Whatever you can or wanna give to increase the kingdom of God on earth. God blesses us with individual talents which we can use to build the church. Think of ways you can contribute and give your best!

Wow mark conners woke me up. overall in all i am very very very happy to have made it for FOP. I really recommend that everyone goes the next year! ( though i think i will have army... )

SEEYA!

Hi Hi, today just gonna do something different from my usual stuff. Today I will be Ivan, The medium rare gamer. I feel like giving a review on some of the games i have been playing this few months...

First game gonna talk about is...

NARUTO: ULTIMATE NINJA HERO 2



Rating: 3.5/5

Gameplay: Its basically a fighting game, with the cast of most of the naruto characters ( 1st season ). The game play is actually quite simple, there's only one attack button, so expect alot of single button smashing. The combos are pretty easy to catch and connect on your opponents, so eliminating learning time and allowing gamers to get to the core of the game, the art of fighting like a ninja. Yup. its different from other fighting games. You have to time your attacks and they added bit of naruto elements with the "smoke bomb" evasion, shuriken throwing, jutsu, secret jutsu, the substitution attack ( the "poof", he became a tree log attack ).

But wat i feel impressed about is the varying in characters style and strength level. Like we think that naruto's the best. but honestly in the game, he's just average, cept' for the insane amount of chakra he stores and the undisputed "rasengan". Then there's Kiba and his trusty dog akamaru, whos speed is unmatched and the ruthlessness of the dog and master combo is very evident. There's sakura as well, whos known for her strength, and ironically her secret attack is her alter-ego...

Overall, the game will keep you satisfied if you are a naruto fan, but dont expect it to be a game to stay in your console for long. I think its one of those games where you play a while, and only play it again once in a blue moon.

Next Game i wanna cover is...

DJ MAX PORTABLE 2

Rating: 4.5/5

OK, I am not being bias here. I love music games and always will. But DJ max has briefly summarized the whole elements of music and rhythm games by itself. The songs are pretty catchy and pleasant, the level of challenge is almost infinite. This is definitely not a game for people with bad eye and hand coordination. But its not impossible to play.

I have been playing the game for close to a year already. and i still never got bored of it. There will always be challenges and sometimes the game becomes a srt by itself, so much so that if you are a hard core DJ max, you will always be a hardcore DJ max.


K Next I am gonna cover is....

CASTLEVANIA: DRACULA X CHRONICLES

k, i have to confess, i did not play the game for the original title, but because in this game... you can unlock "SYMPHONY OF THE NIGHT". Its like the best game ever on ps! ARGH! but here's my review on the original title first.

DXC (lazy to type the whole thing) takes place before SOTN, the story revolves around richter belmont (the male protagonist) and maria (the bird welding babe, also the female protagonist) and their fight to defeat the count dracula and his servant, shaft.

The gameplay is like any other castlevania games (cept' SOTN). you are side scrolling and welding your whip or birds (yea i know sounds weird) and attacking the ghoulies while dodging attacks and solving simple puzzles along the way. Its pretty much like mario, cept with a more medieval feel.

OKOK SOTN! you are Alucard, son of dracula. But you are here to stop your father's mad reign of chaos when you discovered that Richter Belmont went missing mysteriously. Whats different is that there is a leveling up system, lots of items, lots of area to explore, a incredible story line, and monsters that are sure to challenge your wits sometimes. I played it when i had my ps, and now i am playing it on my psp once again!

Alright gonna do more game reviews soon... think some of ya never thought i am like this. hahaha. oh wells. see ya!

Hi everyone,

Its been a while since i have updated. I am pretty much tied up with stuffs nowadays, (yeah that includes pat-toa-ing)(but lesser nowadays since she has school), and harldy could find time to sit down and think of what to update you readers about. Maybe bit of updates.

Worship, worship, worship. I am somehow always leading or playing or singing for a worship team or another. Its like a dream come true, cept' with a hefty price of freedom and slack. The past month was like...

Tuesday - chorale

Ok not to be spoiler, but here's a sneak peek into christmas chorale presentation...
There's gonna be a accapella, and its gonna be good. look forward to it. Why start the practice so early, cos wen xin's delivering soon and she cant attend to us.

Saturday - Led Holy Communion :

was kinda last minute preparation. but thank God that he gave me the inspiration to lead the worship. But i guess i am a perfectionist when it comes to worship leading, I think i did badly... Not to mention i added a not so theologically sound song in it... guess which one...


Wednesday,friday - YF band prac

here's a vid... but dun mind the last part...



was pretty tired when doing the recording. This was taken from the wednesday prac when we went to a studio. Here's a vid from the friday practice ( mavis uploaded it )



slightly better i enjoyed it.

then it came...

Saturday - morning, practice with the english band, after...

last practice with the youth band, was last minute informed that we have to start late... Whats with the communication between the EM and CM? so frustrating at times....

Then the worship session itself... there was technical problems and not to mention, I cant really hear the band and myself... And then i sang "Grace like Rain" in weird tempos, and Yuki said it was like a performance... man i was kinda sad. But I know God sees the team's earnest efforts to do their best.

Oh then Care group... I was suppose to lead worship, but due to lack of preparation and due to us starting care group very late, we decided to go straight to lessons ( we started at 8.30pm :( )

Tuesday- chiong studies for a test

Wednesday - finished a 2 hour test in 15 minutes. WOO HOO!

Thursday - YF worship prac

Friday - Chiong classical guitar (literally, glad i finished grade 1 in 4 weeks, now grade 2 liao... argh wanna chiong faster...)(oh theory only)(guitar practical still slow...)

Saturday - English Band prac and jamming with Uncle Chris ( THE ROCKER!) He inspired me to pick up the electric guitar and i think i practice a net time of over 2 or 3 hours! ROCK ON!!!

Sunday - English Band led worship, pretty happy with the ukulele-ish guitar playing.
Its all chords but i played them at 12 frets beyond. I think as a Band, the music is getting tighter and more "realistic" to me. But I wish we could have in some form of fellowship in God. But its more practice and play...

Then came YF worship. I was singing backup and playing a percussion instrument. I was trying to get into the mood of worship, but very distracted by the sound of laughter... I mean, laughter in the midst of divine worship? I was actually quite upset. But who am i to judge? ah, God you do the judging, i cant be bothered, as long as i am serving you can liao. And Whenever i do harmonizing for mavis, i realize that even though she's the one with the mike, i always sound louder... sigh, i will sing softer from now on...

Then came guitar lessons, no time to spend time with my mum again... Haha i was teaching 3 different groups at the same time... I think i need to be more structured, but i can see Steffi's and Melissa's enthusiasm in learning, they never complain about the pain :)

Sigh, looking at the schedule i have for the past 2 weeks, its easy to get burn out or stressed out. But By God's grace, no, i feel great. In school i have great friends who are by my side and in church i have great friends who support and work together with me, and them aside, there's her as well.

I am much upset that i hardly got time for my own mum since we do not stay together, and i have to sneak behind my grandma's back to go out with my god-mum. wat a life.

I find joy in the music, but i dun see myself becoming in anyway better... I desperately want to make music a income earning job for myself in the future and do hope that i can do my own business and be able to support myself. cant be a bum right?

And yea there's still complications in certain parts of my life now... friends who seems like they dun wanna be friends... friends going to army... temptations...

Oh yeah, Young Adults starting soon too, we're having our first meeting this friday. Means i will miss FOP, but i will be going for saturday and sunday. Hopefully we can have a smooth start and have a more solid form of Bible study, something which i miss.

oh and i am currently playing Castlevania on the psp, classic. Seriously the psp is a great companion at times. Not that i suggest that everyone owns one, Cos its pretty expensive. Mine's won in a lucky draw ( yeah can hao lian! ) haha no lah. It's God's provision ( *Angelic Choir* ~HALLELUJAH!~ ). no seriously. I can remember clearly the week before i found out that i won it, I was at the comic shop admiring some guy who bought the console with cash, in my heart i was like, man i wished that i could have a psp. But then later i told myself, "nah, you can find happiness in other things, you do not need a psp. I will be satisfied with watever i have"

Then the call came a week later "YOU WON A PS......

But yea do things in moderation k guys? dun go blind and failing exams cos of it, its not worth it. It should be more of a relaxing tool. yeah

And i have been watching movies now a days. Caught red cliff, Hancock at the theaters, good stuff. Watched longest yard and gonna watch benchwarmers next. sigh so many things to do...

haha not to mention now in school i have a "lifestyle"

monday - play pool

thursday - play pool and swim in the pool.

My pool's improving and my swimming stamina's going up. Not to mention i can do my pushups again and see bit of improvements. Now need to focus on running...

phew i have typing and talking about everything about my life for the past hour or so... enjoy and stay off nasty websites k guys, spyware is everywhere. so...


BEWARE OF SPYWARE


CYA

The G.I.F.T

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Retreat, once again the church is united in one small resort to take time away from their busy lives to enjoy the fellowship and spend intimate time with God. Every Year, the church will choose a overseas ( preferably ) location where there's lush greenery and enough attractions to keep us entertained and satisfied. Well i just have some comments on my stay this time

1. The Food is not Good

I am sure plenty of you know what i mean. first of all, the menu is confusing, there's quite a variety of food crammed into that little dining restaurant. the rice is ok, ( I mean its just white rice ) and the pasta was quite bad... The dishes were ok, there's like curry mutton, beef, mutton, beef... Chicken, herbal chicken, fried chicken... And cabbage? I enjoyed some of the curry, but most of the time i did not really have the liberty to enjoy my food. But Wat i cannot tolerate is the fact that i have to keep going to the toilet. The food is not only bad, its unclean. Many members were affected with diarrhea. I had diarrhea... I could not sleep... and there's even reports like nail clippings in the bubor chacha...

2. The Hotel room was not bad

Ok, maybe some of you may disagree. But i kind of like the design of the place, its pretty cosy. I feel very comfortable, the beds good. There's a good environment to have guest and have multiple activities to go on in the room at the same time. The bathroom is ok, toilet paper's interesting, but the supply of toiletries is not enough, oh wells, Feng nan and I brought our own toiletries anyway. There's a good selection of channels for everyone and so far, I have not heard much complains about the rooms, too much talk about how bad the food is...

3. The facilities? Degrading...

Ah, what has happened to the lovely Pulai Springs I once knew... There is no maintenance of certain facilities like the swimming pool, the jacuzzi, the steam room, the sauna, the squash courts... But i see improvements like the bar, the lounge area, certain lighting effects ( that can only be seen at night ) and some other stuffs. The staffs are friendly, i remember one guy who went all the way to open up the MPH ( multi purpose hall ) when he was in the middle of drying the dishes. And the receptionist who allowed FN and me to keep our baggages at the reception cos the lockers are too small. Nice guy. Overall i enjoyed the facilities though they seem abit out of shape. I swam quite a bit. I think maybe i am improving a bit.

4. I need to get a portable speaker system

Words cant describe the necessity of a portable sound system. Like the one that Stanford or FN has, Mini speakers that blast your music, sending sound waves that can reach all corners of the room. I NEED TO GET ONE!!!!!! THEN MY SHOWER TIMES WILL BE 40 MINS EVERYDAY LIAO!!!!

5. Friends

The youth worker, under rev. Ang , and I clicked quite well. apparently he and i got certain common personalities. lol. And theres a few others whom i either can talk to again or became friends with. Friendships are pretty hard to maintain sometimes, but it doesnt hurt to try to talk to someone whom you have not talked to for a very long time, Right? :)

6. YAF

Young Adult Fellowship, Some of us discussed to activate the long dead fellowship, and have consolidated a list of names. So far the prerequisites to enter is that you have to be 19 and above, and must be committed and have a certain level of learning maturity, of course all who are 19 and above are invited to try out the meetings, but if they feel uncomfortable with the YA, they can go back YF. Of course My commitment is still to help mavis in the YF worship ministry since we are severely under manned.


Well, this retreat overall was pretty relaxing and fun to a certain level. I am not sure whether i am getting old? but i just dun seem so interested in some of the younger youths activities. I prefer soaking in the spa then watching cartoons... prefer keeping quiet then making "jokes". sigh, maybe i am moving on

To a certain extend i wanna mix with more grown ups now, i feel i can connect to them better. Maybe to a certain extend i look forward to YA.

Oh wells. more updates soon. So sleepy, did not recover from a day without sleep yet...

Hi guys, sorry for such a very long waited update, many things have been on my mind and hands lately, shall just share briefly some points.

First of all, thanks to all who made it for My birthday celebration whom i had with Don, the party could not have been complete without you guys. Haha and apologies to those who got bored easily, maybe its your first time at a Gig or something. I plan to do more Gigs in the future as a side job, i kinda enjoy doing this kind of things.

Thanks to Farhan, or the band ( crap forgot the band name...) Azli, zaki, and the unknown bassist, whose name i have forgotten again... Crap. ( Maybe too much liquor that night?)

Thanks to Davin, the next singapore idol, to Jemie, my good friend, and sab, Justin and Devin, The makeshift verticross band. lol. Thanks to all who performed and made the Gig a success...

The total cost of everything reached around $2000, the rental and food sponsored by my God mum, Mummy, and the band equipment by my uncle, hardcore rocker of an old neighborhood band, U-can.

Thanks to you YFers, hope you enjoyed yourselves, though you looked like you were entertaining yourselves...

Erm ok some of you were worried about me when i was missing or a while, dun worry abt me, i had a thing i needed to clear with my bros from church.

Thing is at this point of time, The term " bros " seem very vague to me . I admit that i am subject to insensitive actions but i have not once seen any of my brothers any lesser. Whether you are from church or from my secondary school, or from some place that God placed us in circumstance.

Actually i am quite hurt that my relationship is or has caused hurt to some of you, my close friends... I have never wanted it to be this way. But i do treasure our friendship and hope that you are willing to give me another chance.

I may be immature or childish or insensitive or careless or ignorant at times... But i have my reasons, its just that its hard to put it into words... especially when you are pressured...

But it has shown me how much you think i am to you. Sorry if i had not regarded you as close at that point of time, it seems that we get close to people we regularly meet. lets be friends again.

Now that i am finally 21, i feel like i have no more time to waste. I have signed up for classical guitar under cristofori and theory as well, hopefully to get a guitar diploma by 3 years time. Then i might want to look into composing and music industries studies , i hope i can music my career in the future, maybe not as a musician but maybe as a business man?

Its time to move on, Soon i will have NS, soon I will work and hopefully stabilize my career and thats when i would propose to my girl and have a family and bring up my kid to be the best kid in the world. thats provided the earth does not end first... ( all those dang end of the world assumptions... makes me a little paranoid)

Dear brothers and sisters, lets move forward and make just one step a day to make our future a brighter one.

PEACE TO ALL , see ya at retreat!

( The party vid is available by 2 weeks time, who wants it can order from me in advance, its free dun worry )

CYA

Hihi my good old friends!!!!! welcome back for another round of the rare christian Ivan! Ok today i have mode of entry. The usual whacky one and a slighty very serious one. But heres the whacked out one first.

Youth started slightly.... late again. and because of my little jamming session with someone b4 worship, i forgot to practice with mavis. so pretty much jamming session 2 for worship. And mavis broke down during worship... I guess mavis, you are such a sensitive person ( yet extremely violent and scary sometimes! NOT CUTE AR!!!!!)

After youth, had to teach guitar for a while. Seriously i think i must find a way to teach somewhere quiet and as little distraction as possible. haha everyone gathered in the self control room, become a party. how to teach? lol

And oh haha lunch time, you guys were there too right? The wanton mee stall. The hawker was flipping noodles and to round the noodles into a nice ball to serve, he would toss the noodles into the air. Haha, I went to order a second round to try and see him do it again. But he told me he cant toss Hor Fun. haha figures. But josiah so happened to come and order wanton mee. FUUU! Darryl and I took out our phones...





After youth and lunch, the fantastic 4 bored people ( Myself, Zhen Wei, Mavis, Josiah ) bummed in church for almost an hour wondering of wat to do... So one of the things we did were...




And At the station... Mavis Tried to pit her strength ( and body weight ) against Josiah... And haha, I did not manage to catch it but Josiah lifted mavis by holding on to her head. haha some one call the SPCA!!!!!!!





Then we decided to go to JP cos when we were discussing where to go... someone went jumping up and down saying " I wanna eat ice scream ". Jo was like "I wanna go gym" and I prefered the gym to the ice cream idea ( i dun want the extra cals...) Haha but you can see her satisfied face when we finally found a nice little shop, called "Scoop" at the basement area. Cheap and filling.



ok. whacky part over. Partly why i wanted to rush it because i wanna talk more about something else. After the ice cream and a little arcade, we went to Subway for dinner. Partly cos its Zhenwei's BD! happy birthday bro! But then we talked about politics... haha mavis was slping... and it turned into the question of church structure and systems.

The is this sadness i feel for churches that preaches prosperity. Their Focus on God is based on presumptive faith as Josiah puts it. People are taught that they should give as much as possible because God promises riches to those who receive. Churches are market place and its filled with Christians who seek wealth through the church by networking and business. And there are the faithful ones who fall under the mindset that they must give as much as possible...

Here's a poem i wrote today on the way to school... (yup school started T.T )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Flip Side Of The Copper Coins

One early Sunday Morning
You entered with life's despair
Among the midst of thousands
You hope there's a seat to spare

The music rocked and the ground shook
You're standing in a Holy place
Till one man, up there he stood
And gently asked, 'Please give freely in grace'

You shake your head in worry
cause you have God to please,
So the man prayed a simple prayer,
for us to give the biggest piece

He tells the tale of the two copper coins
You could not hold the tears anymore
Reaching for your only fifty dollar bill
Your knees touched the floor

You closed your eyes, looked up and prayed,
' Dear Lord, this I humbly give '
And in the end , the man proudly said,
' The generous shall receive! '

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wanted to turn it into a song, but i think its good as it is now. I might wanna do a part 2 soon as i know of other cases as i know a few stories why people leave prosperity preaching churches.

tomorrow is the worship leading course for care group. In the sense i still need the training. though i doubt i may learn anything new, its always good to go for refresher course...

Wenxin smsed me asking me whether i wanna do the first session ( everyone has to prepare a sample worship for evaluation ) and i was telling her. "haha you want a good example for wat not to do right?" She replied saying that everyone else is not experienced. Hmmm there was pride but it quickly deflated cos i knew i might be helping more than learning... I rmb she called me once, she asked me whether i want to lead sunday offering every 2nd week. I was telling her " Huh, my style can meh? I think better get ready some ambulances ar ", She said " haha dun frighten the old people can liao lar ". I frighten old people? thats the first... ( not actually, my grandma always say i give her a shock because my footsteps cannot be heard... )

About tomorrow, I have prepared a few songs. the requirement is 4 songs to open session and 2 closing songs. I pondered for a while... And There was a great desire to play this song...




Oooh i like the impromptu solo ending i gave the song... I changed many chords because the chords i found were like so wrong. But its tough to sing this song... its so high... if Jasmine or Andrea sing this song (or you mavis... ) glass will shatter...

In school, my good friend ( who extremely resembles Norman's personality ) was telling me " I've got a girlfriend now ". ok... Then we talked about how his hols was and he said he was busy because of internship and GRL Phren... Then it came to his dream to go overseas to study and pursue music, but now he wants to stay local because he has a Kurl Flan. I mean WATS UP MAN. you giving everything up? your dreams and aspiration because you have a Ghirl Flend? ARGH! dun give up man.... you can make it. I know. I have seen thousands of lousier singers than you man...

Not sure to feel sad or happy now tat i am single. My friends are getting attached or are attached. Argh wats this!!!!!!! Is it so wrong for me to remain one for the while till i go to work, stabilize my future then find my future God send?

Nvm, i will find greater pleasure in other things for now. I must not let girls over take my life anymore. Sigh... Though how much i desire for the one... i have to wait.

BUT I MEAN WATS UP MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!@*&^#@*&$^*&^@#$%!@$

" I have a girlf.... "

@#%$@#&%$&^%@&#%$^&@%#&$%@#%$@#%&$ ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

just leave me alone lah loverboy. haiz i wanna give you my blessings but ARGH!!!!!!!


..............................................

.................

1... 2.... 3... 4..

ok much better now. ARgh... man...

I must make it while i still can. I must make my dream. I must prove to myself that i could do it. And i think that everyone of you should clearly think of your paths ahead. Or soon you road will laid with tons of humps called regret.

But for now we should try and at least contribute something to our future. like i read a book that said if we saved a dollar a day and put it into a bank for 66 years, we would have our million dollars. Whoopie doo doo. I wanna save a dollar a day too!

And so you hardy boys and girls out there. plan well and live smart, May the good Lord shine His gracious hands on you ( imagine the line spoken through a old cowboy grandpa ) haha

Alright i have spent alot of time on this entry, see ya soon!

Leave a tag!

Welcome back everybody! Thanks fer reading. Some of you may wonder " wth, why he so thick skin can type til like that?" my answer to you is... You can go write diary ar. Blog is meant to crap none stop and meant for Victims ( just like you HAHA ) and hopefully put a smile or crap their pants for the rest of their day.

Woah, I just need to address this. To me, The planetshakers concert ROCKED mY tiny Japanese SOCKS!( forgive my kua zhang ness ). to put it plainly, IT WAS MAD!!!!!! People were jumping up and down like Salmon desperate to lay eggs by swimming up the river, and people were singing ( or screaming/shouting/yelling/whistling/etc ) like its the last thing they would say! Wah Josiah reached like 100+ decibels and he's sitting next to me lah. sounded more like a warcry then a cheer or something. I dun blame him, cos i followed him after that. HHAAHAHA

Alright Alright dun get me wrong. Yes it is a rock concert. I mean its PlanetShakers man... you want soft music you should have known. And you dun go into a concert where you have not heard their songs before. I suggest to you softies that cannot stomach songs like that to go a Don Moen or Matt redman concert.

I feel like some people went in with a stubborn mindset on how worship should be. Like Pastor normally said, if we dun mean the words we sing, its just song singing. But ultimately worship is not confined to song singing, Its how we live out our lives.

The concert rocked... I worshiped like i never worshiped before in a long time. The music or more likely the fellowship of Gods people and The Holy Spirit joined in unity to bring praise to God. Tim Hughes delivered A powerful worship as well, the silence that was so quiet you could hear only the aircons, a silence so reverent and awesome that it penetrated the hardest of hearts. It was beautiful... And they had to play ONE WAY after that. HAHAHA so comical.

Hmmm, yeah and this morning it was my first (could be my last) meeting with a group of christians who posted on soft.com.sg, looking for jamming buddies, to jam. I filled in the place of the missing drummer and went there feeling partly nervous.... but guess wat! the bassist is my good old friend from SP campus crusade and from Jurong Christian Church! UBER COOL! ((99 hits combo!)) I was so relieved and its really such a small world. not really sure whether he was happy to see me... but i kinda missed talking to him for a while... and now he is a better musician than b4 too. Ok back to jamming. We randomly played songs that we know. I was the drummer so its was less stressful on me. And i think i played fairly well. The singer whos a Filipino said that my drummings good. haha of course!!!!! (head inflating fast) I could use the double pedal now man.... bwa hahaha

Later was meeting feng nan for guitar lessons. haha cant help him... he expected me to teach him tabs... i also not that pro yet ar... saded. need to stay focused on my guitar!!!

I wanted to write more, but now that i have a new game, "Crisis Core", Final Fantasy 7 prequel game, My slping time is limited and have church later, why later? cos its 1.33 am on my clock now.

So before i go, as promised. Here's the vid of Elsie wishing Josiah Happy Birthday in the train. SO embarassing...




Good Night, stay off the drugs ar... but panadol and Coke can. lol!

Good morning everyone! thanks fer reading, come support this website, and a million blessings upon you. lol. And if you dun intro this blog to another 15,000000 person you will break up with your BF/GF, or if you are not attached, you might turn homo.

Welcome back to another episode of the rare christian ivan. Been a while i have been typing like this, always wonder why i lose readers, cos my entries are too boring? haha. I mean why do i need to encourage people to read my blog, you waste time and brain energy to read my entries. I mean i could be typing this...

" Today sooooooooo boring, i went to school... class was like so normal lah, wish something interesting will happen... so i snatched my friend's handphone when he is not looking and hide it in the teachers desk. Haha he soooooo stew-pit, never chk one. when the next class started, i secretly called his handphone, oh yeah i forgot i set his handphone to some weird obsene sounding... "

Talk about trying to get a life man... haha my friends used to be like that. oh wait i remember something like this...

" Hi everyone, well done on todays activity, hope we can do it again next year!

Ok going to slp now... haha lazy..."

I mean WAT THE>>> !@#!&*^ ( dun mean anything ). Its not that its a stupid entry or anything, but write more...

" and i watched "enchanted" with my darling baby for the 1212934798 to power of 2138472 times. I lurve my darling baby woochie moochie smoochie. XxSMUACKSxX _n.n_ "

disgusting...

" I hate him... that #&$@%, I hope he can go and die, for all i care! blah blah...

( emo crap... haha but wait theres more )

blah blah... okok i am so sorry i said all those earlier... i love you.... dun leave me... "

haha the comedies of life. Talking of which, I was concern for my friends relationship cause they were fighting... until i realised its over some online gaming issue...

well I am not saying wat you should or should not put in blogs, but i mean do anyone wanna know what you had for breakfast, lunch and dinner? Nope i am not interested. I think your blog really defines who you are i guess. So you think i am a random person? maybe... i had a little to drink b4 typing this entry. Am I full of angst? Bet I am! haha i am typing like someone now.

The purpose of life? My purpose? I wanna rule the world. haha, I am gonna place a flag on every country national monument with the face of Jesus Christ. I am gonna flood every young innocent soul with the Gospel and Rock and Roll. I am gonna change everybodies eating habits and ban NAPHA or IPPT. I am gonna put a jamming studio and place " christian music only" posters all over it.

Yeah, thats wat i am gonna do if I am president of Singapore. Vote for me yeah? Nothing better than to have a God fearing guy in the parliament. I will lower GST, Ban gambling and smoking, raise welfare policies, provide better academic opportunites for the lower income groups, pump funds into the arts scene, L1 R5, L1 will be music and english and chinese will not matter. All national day songs will be head bang-able, and pop stars will be invested heavily.

okok, nonsense, but think about it, it might be a better place for you kids to grow up in. Rock, is the foundation for life. I cannot imagine a life where people did not realise that they can clap, or the word percussion did not exist... i rather have concussion.

stage 4 cancer... i heard from my nurse friend that its a matter of time before she leaves us... Life is so cruel... God I hope you really have something up your sleeves this time... You are gonna make alot of people very very sad....

But ultimately, its your will that will be done. We are truely insignificant to your cause... but have mercy dear Lord to those who serve you...

Hi guys, thanks fer visiting

Today I just wanna ponder on this statement I found in a book in the self-help section

"life is suffering"

and it goes further on to discuss on the matter on how you should live your life.
The principle?

" accepting the basic principle that life is not a bed of roses, will open new horizons and you will live a better life "

when i read the statement, i felt a cold rush in the spine... Life is suffering... The cold hard truth, and yet i am living in denial... I've always seen hardwork and discipline a form of guaranteeing your success, but seeing this statement just makes me wonder...

Thinking about this, i should read the verse in Genesis where man is condemned because of sin

Genesis 1:17

17 To Adam he said, "Because you listened to your wife and ate from the tree about which i commanded you, 'You must not eat of it,'

"Cursed is the ground because of you;
through painful toil you will eat of it all the days of your life.

18 It will produce thorns and thistles for you,
and you will eat the plains of the field.

19 By the sweat of your brow
you will eat your food
until you return to the ground,
since from it you were taken;
for dust you are
and to dust you will return "

From this it seems that man was condemned to work til he dies. In modern perspective, this is ideal. Not only it delays senile dementia but it gives you more meaningful ways to live your last days. In my internship company, the head all wanna work til they die. Cliche but ironically true. Our church motto, coincidentally my secondary school motto revolves around being man worthy of God and man, and in modern terms, a man who is able to advance mankind one way or the other.

So in the end it all points down to work. Life is suffering. How does work fit in? almost everything. We study a quarter of our lives so we can happily rot the rest of it. Thats a pessimistic approach, but maybe heres a more optimistic one, Pastor gave a statement last night at a wake, " We are dying the moment we were born "

How true. I still cant handle this truth... I checked my study bible index and found this.

Ecclesiastes 3:17 - 23

" So I hated life, because the work that is done under the sun was grievous to me. All of it is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.

I hated all the things i have toiled under the sun, because i must leave them to the one who comes after me

And who knows whether he will be a wise man or a fool? Yet he will have control over all the work into which I have poured my effort and skill under the sun. This too is meaningless

So my heart began to despair over all my toilsome labor under the sun.

For a man may do his work with wisdom, knowledge and skill, and then he must leave all he owns to someone who has not worked for it. This too is meaningless and a great misfortune.

What does a man get for all the toil and anxious striving with which he labors under the sun?

All his days his work is pain and grief, even at night his mind does not rest. This too is meaningless. "

I think you Christians out there find this verse all too familiar. Here lies King Solomon, old and dying reflecting about his life. I think he knows all too well, the terms "life is suffering". Sure he gained almost everything a man ever desired in the world, but ultimately did it fill the void that every person has in his heart?

The void. Its in everyone of us. Those who claim they do not have it, have not matured to the stage or are living in denial. Either way the harsh honesty that the world has for us will crush one day, sooner or later. We might go through dark ages and golden eras of our lives but its all like Solomon's favorite phrase, " Meaningless, everything is meaningless "

So now i think again. Why work if everything is meaningless? Lets debate slightly further on the 2 greatest commandments.

1st

" Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and all your might "

2nd

" Love your neighbor as yourself "

The 2nd is what Confucius also taught, " Do to others what you want others to do unto you".

So what has work got to do with this 2 verses? Basically its this. If we are to love God with everything we have we got to keep his commandments. Or rather his condemnations as well. Remember the verses in Genesis?

2nd verse is primarily on being a burden onto others. I found a verse in 2 Thessalonians which says

" Nor did we eat anyone's food without paying for it. On the contrary, we worked night and day, laboring and toiling so tat we would not be a burden to any of you. We did this, not because we do not have the right to such help, but in order to make ourselves a model for you to follow. For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: "If a man will not work, he shall not eat." (2 Thessalonians 3:8-10)

Paul and his disciples chose not to accept free meals from the thessalonians even if they offered him. because he wants them to learn to earn their daily bread. Or rather he does not want to be a burden

modern context wise, "a man who accelerates the advance of man" = "a man who does not slow everybody down". Thats a awful lot of pressure dont you think? I mean, in singapore alone where your standing in society depends on the number of paper that claims how smart you are, or you ability to handle business...

You dont need to look far away. Just look at your families, friends, classmates, churchmates, the news. Your success and stature is determined by merits... We are all victims of "life is suffering"

The book where i obtained the quote from rambles on, that discipline and delayed gratification will allow you to excel in life. Solomon will agree to this then tear the books to atomic particles ( our church Solomon looks like he might have the strength to ) and proceed back to his grave. Then again, if he does that there wont be a "self help" or "self improvement" section in bookstores anymore...

More like we are worker ants. We are mostly working not for ourselves but for others. Thats why so many people want to become their own bosses. Not always for the reason of pride, and those who cannot make the climb will tumble back to status worker ant.

Ok, let me try to summarize what I have been talking about the past half an hour. "life is suffering", Its true cos Adam chose to disobey God. We have to obey his judgment and work til we die. Not because we wanna prolong life and suffering but because we do not want to be a burden to man, and we need to eat ( to suffer more ). But the principle of work is meaningless if we dedicate our life to only work. It will be more significant if we are going to do it for God.

Ok tell me wat you think, I am interested to hear. There is nothing wrong in trying to discover the purpose of life. So waiting for some news. See ya!

Bought a microphone at the recent IT show (which my mum saw me caught on news =.=!

So heres some experiments with it! enjoy

Hihi, been a while. doing this someone told me too, haha

A little update to my life now, finished my term and now is hols, have about 3 successful day of wasteful loathing and used the time to give my room a makeover, catch up with Bleach, Keikaishi, and Gundam 00, PLaying guitar, and getting the usual scolding and grumbling from the old lady next door.

Actually, I am pretty fine, just that sometimes i get to involved with other people's problems and then it affects me as well. Like actually i am pretty fine being single and all, but almost every male friend of mine somehow caught the wave of GF issues suddenly. I guess the irony is that when you are single you got to help those in battle. But Bros, dun give in, I mean GIVE UP! God have prepared the one for you and one day you will get that dodgy little lass!

Been talking to my music teacher lately, receiving advices like dun throw away your day job, get stable income, the moneys there, the stuck up musicians are there to help ( flinched ) and blah blah, cant help thinking ...

Is there a future for musicians in Singapore? Do you really have to have a certain status or a 5 digit fan base to secure a future? My teacher is one of the more reputable bassist in Singapore, and he's kinda struggling to pay his bills though he does not talk about it... The best Electric guitarist in Singapore, whom house i visited, does not reflect the glory he attained from the music scene.

So how does one secure his future? I asked. He answered " Teaching ". The passing on of knowledge in the hope of securing the future, not ours but to the future of Singapore. Who knows when there might be a blooming guitarist like Paul Gilbert, somewhere in our midst, lurking in some unsuspecting mother's womb?

Another bugging problem was that i keep regretting starting music late. Darn, Even Warren buffet bought his first share at 15. Thats nuts if you ask me, But I guess he had it coming. But i was youtubing to chk up on one of my favourite rock guitarist, slash of GNR and velvet revolver, and In one interview he said he started at 15. I guess anythings possible. I mean Beethoven started at 20, and he was rumored as not talented. but look where his hardwork brought him. I think he would not have guessed that even decades down the road, his legacy is still being played to lude the world in symphony and song.

Sigh, music is such a wondrous and mysterious being, Why being, cos its always evolving and when you think you have solved its prevailing mysteries and it will unexpectedly turn around, leave you again awestruck and then throw you back to square one again. Hurray to all musicians who think they have unraveled everything ya?

kk I gotta go. I hope that you guys work hard and do the best ya can. Who knows, 40 years down the road someone will be benefiting from your contribution that formed their history.