My friends, i was struck by an article , talking about "the worship wars". I have think i have found the answer to having a contemporary worship and yet keep our cherished lithurgy! I am so excited.

I am too excited that i just had to post this entry. I know, I know, its just that i got the sudden passion, enthusiasm cos of the dramatic change in the YF worship leading and that i am the new worship coordinator. But i firmly believe that God desires a dynamic and passionate Youth Ministry.

I aim for a Bigger congregation, a pure Lutheran Youth, where we can be proudly call ourselves lutheran, and learn the doctrines led by luteran ministers. I also aim for a hyped and dynamic youth worship team, where we can play and lead all styles of worship, both contemporary and conservative.

In my ideal worship team, there shall be no prima donnas, no stars. Everyone is seen equal. And everyone is equivilently accountable to each other and the success of the worship.

Indeed True worship is walking right daily with the Lord. Thats why i will require a team thats walking right with the Lord. Or a team that desires to walk with the Lord. Then can we assure that God will bless the ministry.

Please do not misunderstand if i ask you to wait until the next intake. I have a huge weakness and that is i fear opposition. I hate to say No to anyone. I foolishly took in a huge number of musicians, ranging from experienced to completely new.

I will look through the worship team structure again. I am currently working on a handbook that the youth worship leaders can use in time to come. I know i have no training what so ever, but i have one thing that i feel many people lack, and thats passion.

I know , you guys dun wanna read this, i found my blog a great way to remind myself of the things i need to do. I encourage all to blog, not because you want others to read but that when you read back all your past entries, you can see how much you have progress or decline in your life. You will be amazed how much you went through.

I really fear one thing now... I have no more desire to continue the studies that i am in... I really cant take studying mathematical formulaes day and night, calculating everything... I have this sudden urge to quit school and join a seminary and take up full time ministry...

But believe me, thats what i truely want to do now... But i know its illogical. But then again, Faith always contradict logic... But then again, i dun wanna be a stumbling block to my family and even you Yfers. I shall try my best to struggle within my remaining Poly year to complete my diploma and get out of here.

I will then plan to pursue my studies in a language. I should have went to JC, and take up arts... thats still my passion. Something that i inherited from my mum, a burning desire for understanding.

But i guess i will try to take up a part time degree in a arts course... i know , i know... some of you will say no future... to me if i can get 2-3k a month, i am rather happy liao. and i see that any job that you excel in you should get around that amount... Ar, again you ask. In singapore, job security is severly hap- hazard, its alternating all the time. So i suppose that i fall back on someone again. I have to live by Faith.

I fear my family objections, but the gospel writes that unless we hate our family, we cannot follow him. Its not that i hate my family, i love them alot, esp my cousins, and esp. my Mum. but if they are going to obstruct me from following my desires to serve the Living Lord, i guess i have no choice but to leave them.

They hate me, i dunno. My future is uncertain. But i walk in blind faith, I believe solely that my life is meant for something greater, a greater reason to leave than to excel in life, more than a reason to have a loving and prosperous family, and its to serve God. I believe that i have one father, and thats God. I never had a father my whole life, i never saw him once in my life. To me my physical father is long dead. But then there's God. To me this invisible Father who lives in everything and through the words of a book, the bible, is the only respectable person.

I will follow him til the end.

Argh okok, i know my entry today a little dramatic. I just putting down my thoughts only, pls dun get so emotional when you read this entry.

~~~~signing out~~~~~~~~~