Today is 28th of april 2007. I shouldnt be doing this now, cos i am rushing to help my mum to do the goceries then rush off to church for worship practice. But I just thought of typing this down before I lose these memories.

Just completed a series titled, 14 sai no haha ( 14 year old mother ). It talks about the struggles of a 14 year old girl, who wants to give birth to her baby no matter the cost. Although its emotional and more suited for girls, i found myself hooked to every of the 11 episodes.

From the show, I learnt above how precious life can be. That we should treasure it with whatever the costs. Cos sometimes in life we make mistakes. And some time it comes down hard on us. But what matter the most is how we pick up ourselves and carry on the fight.

Life on earth is a fight. No one goes through a easy life. If you are going through easy now, its always at the expense of somebody. Life is harsh. But God gave us the ability to live through these, thats why we must fight the good fight.

Also the show taught me to decide for myself. Up till now i still am a yes-man, and a crowd pleaser. But i realised that thats what i like to do. I like to see people smiling and talking. I like to see people hugging one another, shaking hands, or even just nodding at one another. I just want to see when friends share deep emotions and strengthen innocent ties as brothers and sisters.

God I would do anything to see the YF to become the most enjoyable YF in the whole world. I want to see them happy. I want to smile and bring your joy into their hearts.

Although I myself suffer alot, due to stress, loniness, busyness, a family that cannot understand... I still want to enjoy every session of YF. I want to see people happy praying, worshipping, fellowshipping, learning God's word. God I would do anything.

Thats why I decided, that today onwards, i will put a smile on my face, no matter how bad the times are, no matter how lonely i am. I do not want to upset the people around me anymore. I just want to make them happy.

Thank God I watched the series, I benefitted from it. Haha, I bet some of you are gonna condemn me gay or sissy after this. But its ok. I will just have to accept the consequence and just press on.

Ivan out!