8 may 2007

Darn it guys, i did not expect so many people reading the last entry. When i wrote it, i did not have in mind people actually reading it, rather more like a personal entry. so embarassing. how to face you all now?

But i thank God, that you all shower your care and concerns through your replies. It assured me and have comforted me through the days since then.

I know i tend to keep things bottled up, my idea is that everybody has enough of their own problems, they do not need to bear mine as well. And here i thought i could be a hero by listening out other people's as well. I have learnt my lessons.

Sorry guys, i probably made you all concerned and worried for a while. I really do not expect this, and i do not want to make you all feel this way anymore. I will try to open up, but moderately ok? So that i wont sound so suicidal all the time. haha

Maybe i blog about how i was since i saw all those replies in the chat box? I wanted to make this entry before i make anyone else concerned last night. but reached home after keyboards, too tired to think. Rushed about 3 episodes of a jap drama, went to slp.

Last night was the first time i spoke to my keyboards lessons instructor, Daniel, about anything (although we already had 4-5 lessons...). Partly cos there is a old couple that came to learn and they really want to play well for their personal worship but they have no music background, so they passively were holding the rest of the class back. I just felt bad if i were to ask the instructor anything, cos that might demoralise the couple? I will feel rather guilty one...

But then last night, the couple could not make it, reducing the stress level and the class size to only 3 of us. Daniel was later commenting that he dun really have anything to teach us cos we learn rather fast (actually because i have a little keyboards background back in primary school, thats why) so he will just entertain any question. that was the best thing other than reading the replies of the chat box.

I asked moderately as much as i wanted, even of things unrelated or not covered in the course, and he entertained my every questions, even taking a little time after class to talk to me.

And this morning, although reaching class late again, i managed to pay attention for most of my lectures (except for the one where the lecturer is plain reading off the text) and talked to my classmates during the break, esp those not from my actual class! i made new friends, and could talk to them.

I learnt something, thats its important to have friends, and no matter how bad your times are, when they are around, and give you motivation, it will the strength that will drive you to persevere with whatever trouble you are going through.

DOUMO ARIGATO GOZAIMASU! thank you so very much for posting in the chat box! I never felt so assured to this level for a very long time now.

watashi wa daijoubu no desu! minna so yasashii, shitashimiyasui!

boku wa suki minna desu yo!

See you soon (got a campus crusade to attend to, haha)