Moshi Moshi! Minna, Konbanwa!

Arigatou gozaimasu, hontou! kochi no kakkoi e omoshiroi rare christian ivan desu! rare no donoyouni? very the rare lah!

13/5/07

Mothers day, its the day that everybody remember the well earned efforts that our mothers put in to bring us into this world.

I am thankful for my mum, although she may be blur at times and often listens to everything i say, i will never take advantage of her and love her with all my might!

HONTOU DESU!

i dun wanna disappoint her as her child, so i will try my best to be the best son in the world k? bwahaha, but like you will ever read this entry mum, (i never told my mom about the blog though)

okok, this week was rather a mentally packed week for me, i was keeping myself mentally busy by constantly studying for around 15 hours a day. what i do, study in class, or while traveling, study flash, worship songs, or japanese. revise my keyboards, guitar... and trying to meditate upon God's word.

since monday, after you all sent your lovely replies, i was motivated to work hard, but i guess i did not work smart. friday, i got burnt out, did not attend a single class, reached school at 9, went straight to com lab, reading emails and studying my japanese...

then every night, i spend meaningless hours staring at the computer screen, playing games or chatting, to fill the emotional needs. sad, but it keeps me from thinking too much i guess.

sad, i have 3 friends who just broke up with their partners, and one struggling to keep one... its hard for i know, but i kinda feel sick to see relationships taken so lightly nowadays.

not many see the effort needed to maintain a relationship. it takes time, commitment, money and creativity to keep the flame going. its not just fulfilling each others emotional or physical needs. maybe the world's point of view about relationship is really that sad...

but i shant be bothered. i will try to comfort those who are going through the post breakup periods. and i think we should all to. Lets not judge them but tend to their needs first. nobody who went through commitment in their relationship wants a breakup, believe me.

On saturday, the last bs session i had with my group, i was filled with the knowledge and wisdom of the holy spirit. and i realised that i needed to do the following before that could happen.

- i came before God at the altar and grieved over the specifics sins that i have committed.
- i recognized God's wisdom and power
- I firmly stand by the gospel.
- i submit myself, subjected to allowing in the power of the Holy Spirit.
- I was in deep worship

and i realized that it takes alot of preparation just to make sure i could lead. but its not fully proven. i would clarify and see how this saturday will turn out.

The last session was a emotional one for me, at the end of the best session that i ever taught, i apologised for being such a terrible teacher and prayed for them.that they will be light of the world and salt of the earth

And I also realised the importance of pastoral care, by being a big brother to these people, i can show them the love that christ taught us. However that does not mean i have to be soft, I will show them appropriate actions for their own good.

I love the Youth i realised... they have become part of me. part of me wanna let go, part of me dun want to. Its a trap, and a stumbling block should God call me to serve elsewhere...

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Then there is school... I am trying very hard to study for each class, but i think i just started engines, and only learning the true way of paying attention and making full advantage of each class. Partly cos none of my close classmates from the former class are with me now, i can pay attention. but then its lonely and people see me as a outcast at times, maybe because of my hair?

About my hair, its not that i dun wanna cut, or i think i look good in it, its just that i dunno wat to do with it... i wanna look good, not that i am vain or anything... ( or maybe just a little... fufufufu ) i just wanna look ok, and keep a style cool enough for gig

i am over packing myself again. Kairos may be over, but i signed up for vocals and went back for campus crusade and had committed to go for bible study with them and join their life meetings, or service. time management is very important now, i still trying to slot a time to visit the hairdresser... haiz. oh wells.

I wonder whether i am IT savvy? my internet keeps getting spoiled and there are always missing system files.. man... i wanna be proficient in my IT skills as well. I kinda realised the importance of IT skills? it helped me in my attachment and at home. Basic networking and applications like ppt, words, or excel is soooooo impt.

i see the need for alot of skills. IT, mechanical, music, lifeskills, homeskills. the list is endless. but i guess God blessed me with the joy of learning i guess. Thanks be to God. Although i may not be smart , and quite slow at studies, but i still enjoy what i like to do.

so my friends who are reading this blog. Many things are permissible, but not everything is beneficial. learn as many things while you still can, there's always the chance you will need it. and believe me, integrate it with you life and you will find the power in the knowledge. May God bless you and keep you in His Grace.

Amen.

Ja ne!